Thinking of You
by BeccaMuse9
Summary: It's been so long since their divorce... Antonio and Roderiech have both moved on superficially, but they can't stop thinking of each other. They are always on each other's minds. But what happen's when other people find out? House of Habsburg! Based on 'Thinking of You' by Katy Perry. Rated T for language due to a specific foul mouthed little Italian. I don't own Hetalia or song.
1. Chapter 1

**(A/N): So I figured I'd upload this. I've been working on it for a while but I can't decide if I should end it with this (making it a oneshot) or if I should keep it going. My Beta couldn't decide either. So I figured I'd leave it you to you guys! (WARNINGS!) SWEARING AND SLIGHT ADULT SITUATIONS! All due to Romano I might add. Also I do not own anything!  
**

* * *

_Thinking of You_

**X~X~X**

"Mein Liebe (1)…" Gilbert purred at him, "Come back to bed."

Roderiech stood and shook his head, "Nein. I need to.. I just need a minute. I'll be in my piano room."

Gilbert frowned, watching his lover disappear, before flopping back on the bed, trying to think about what he might have done wrong. Every night. Every night for months Roderiech had gotten out of bed as soon as they were done. He'd take a long shower and play piano into the early hours of the morning. Gilbert racked his brain. What was wrong? As far as he knew... Their sex life seemed awesome.

He scoffed, "It's him. The awesome me is... awesome in bed." He rolled over and fell asleep to the sound of the running water of the Austrian's shower.

**X~X~X**

(1) My love (German)

* * *

Roderiech stepped out of the shower an hour later. His skin was red and burned and yet the water was still not hot enough. He wiped the steam off the mirror and stared at himself. He looked the same as every night. Disgusting. Like some joke of nature. Someone that had betrayed everything they knew and loved.

He dressed quickly into pajamas and a dressing grown. The walk to his piano was automatic. He sat down slowly and opened the lid soundlessly. His fingers caressed the keys in reverie. Then he began to play.

It was freeing. He let out a sigh. The music filled his mind. He didn't have to know. He didn't have to think. All he saw was the music swirling and changing around him in a collage of beauty and mystery. His fingers ran along the keys in a flurry of motion and joy. His eyes slid shut. This… This is what he had been waiting for. The pure freedom of not having to remember.

A small smile pulled at his lips as the piece ended. He switched at another one that he knew from memory and listened. But the melody.. It was so familiar. His fingers faltered and hit a sour note. He remembered that piece.

"_Play for me." The happy man grinned._

_Roderiech frowned, a slightly amused twinkle in his eye, "I've just played. Wouldn't you rather do something else?"_

_Large arms wrapped around his waist, "No. Nothing else would please me like hearing you play." Roderiech inhaled the man's scent. Smoky… Like wood. And the sweet crisp smell of tomatoes._

"_Very well." He smiled and played another song for his beloved._

He shook his head, trying desperately to get that man out of his mind. But he would never leave. He was always at the back of his mind. And while Roderiech was with his boyfriend… Feeling his touch, kissing his lips… He only thought of.. All he could think of…

"Anton.." He whispered in a broken voice and let his head fall on to his piano.

**X~X~X**

Antonio frowned, carefully dicing the tomato on his cutting board into perfect cubes, when his phone buzzed. He smiled when he saw the text was from Lovino.

"Oh~. What's that little nino(2) up to?"

Lovi: 'Hey bastard. I'm... I'm ready.'

Antonio's eyebrow knit together as he typed out a response quickly.

Toni: 'Dinner is not ready yet. Tomate sauce takes longer.'

Lovi: 'Ugh! No… I mean.. Never mind. I'll be over there in a minute.'

Antonio shrugged and placed his phone on the counter. He had just finished tossing the last of the tomatoes into the sauce when he heard someone enter his house. Smiling, he wiped his hands on a dish towel and went to greet his friend.

"Lovi!" He extended his arms to embrace the young man. But Lovino just scowled at Antonio before plopping down on the couch. The older man rolled his eyes and went back into the kitchen.

"I'm making spaghetti with tomate sauce!" He said cheerfully.

No answer.

"I hope you like it. I used tomates from my garden."

Still no answer.

He looked up, "Lovino?"

"Cosa,(3) bastard?"

"¿Estás bien?(4)" He asked with concern.

"Si.." Lovino said shakily, shifting on the couch a little, "But.. I came here for a reason."

Tonio smiled at him, "For food? Why didn't you bring your brother then?"

Lovino huffed angrily, "This has nothing to do with that Feliciano! And why do you want to see him anyway?! I say 'Hey Tonio, I'm coming over for dinner.' You always say, 'Aww~. That's great! Bring your brother.'" He stood up and walked to the taller man. "Why can't it just be me?!"

Antonio blinked at him, confused by the harshness of his words, "Because I always make enough for at least three. I don't know how to cook any other way."

"Oh." Lovino bit his lip, hiding his face in crook of his arm.

"Aww~!" Tonio grinned, walking out of the kitchen to look at the boy closer. Gently he stroked the young man's cheek, "Is mi tomate(5) blushing? That's so cute!"

Lovino caught his hand in his, looking deeply into his green eyes, "I'm ready, Tonio."

Antonio smiled, "I know. Dinner is almost ready."

"No." He squared his shoulders to face the taller man, "For you." He kissed Antonio without hesitation. The older man's green eyes widened in shock as Lovino's lips moved against his. He pushed him away quickly, "Lovi! What are you doing?!"

"Fulfilling your ever fantasy," The young man spoke in a low sultry voice, stepping closer.

Antonio pushed him away again, "Stop!"

Lovino scowled, his eyes showing more hurt than he would ever let on, "I-I.. I thought you loved me?"

Antonio backed up, putting a hand over his mouth, shaking his head with wide eyes, "No.. I.. I love you like a son, Lovi."

Fury flashed across his face as he wiped away anger tears, "A son?! You love me like a fucking son?! What the hell?!" He slapped Antonio. The older man just stood there as Lovino pummeled him.

"How the fuck do you see me as son?!" He punched Antonio square in the jaw, knocking him to the floor. Lovino pounced on top of him, hitting his chest with furious fists, "I'm going to kill you for this!"

Antonio lay there, watching him bruise every inch of his body. He didn't do anything. He didn't stop him until Lovino leaned down and whispered in his ear.

"Want to know what you are missing, bastard? Would you ever do this with your _son_?" The smaller man ground his hips down expertly against the Spaniard's. Antonio's hands flew up. He shoved Lovino off of him and stumbled to his feet.

Glaring down at the boy who looked so young and childish, he grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and dragged his across the floor. He ignored the shouts and curses from Lovino, flinging him out the door.

"No, Lovi." He spoke softly, closing the door on the Italian's infuriated face. He sighed. He always did this. Unrequited feelings. The two words that summed up his entire life. He was always oblivious to them. If someone loved him, he would never know. And if he loved someone, they would never feel the same way. There was only one person who he could ever want… And that was never going to happen. Not again.

Antonio walked back into his kitchen to see that his food was ready. Fanastico. Another meal alone. He bit his lip, looking at his cellphone. He… He could call him. Just as friends. He picked up the mobile and deftly dialed the number he knew from memory. But different memories stopped him from hitting the call button.

"_Just get out of here, Antonio!" Roderiech screamed at him._

"_I... I had to, Rodrigo." He stammered. _

_The Austrian looked at him with pure hatred in his eyes, "Go. Now!"_

_Antonio turned his back and walked out. He walked away before he saw the tears drip down from his husband's face. Antonio slipped out of the house soundlessly, clutching the papers in his hands. Papers he had tried to give Roderiech. He had been forced to… It had to be done. Divorce papers._

He couldn't… He couldn't do that to Roderiech again. But he needed someone. He needed someone to be there. Another meal alone… No.

Antonio dropped the phone and before he knew what he was doing he opened to the door. Lovi was still huddled outside, angry tears rolling down his face.

"You bastard!" He shot up and ran to Tonio, fists at the ready. Antonio caught his hands and pinned him against the wall. He closed his eyes and kissed the young man deeply, trying not to imagine a different brunette in his place.

"Mi tomate." He broke the kiss and rested his forehead on the other man's. His eyes were still closed and he listened to the deep, shocked breaths that accompanied his own, "Te amo. (6)"

"_Ich liebe dich…(7)"_

He eyes shot open, "¿Qué? (8)"

Lovi looked into his eyes with his soft, loving brown ones, "Ti amo(9), Tonio."

"Si…" Antonio's face paled as he realized, "O-of course.. Te amo, _Lovino_." Lovino. He repeated it over and over in his head. Lovino. He loved Lovino.

"Now…" A wicked smile fell across Lovino's lips, "Let me show you how much you're going to pay for earlier." He pulled him into another passionate kiss. Tonio's lips faltered against the boy's until Roderiech's words rang through his memory.

"_Just get out of here, Antonio! Go. Now!"_

His arms wrapped tightly around Lovino and he allowed the young man to push him into his house and kick the door shut.

**X~X~X**

(2) boy (Spanish)

(3) What? (Italian)

(4) Are you okay? (Spanish)

(5) My Tomato (Spanish)

(6) I love you. (Spanish)

(7) I love you. (German)

(8) What? (Spanish)

(9) I love you. (Italian)

* * *

"Yo dudes!" America exclaimed in the middle of a world conference, "I think I finally figured out why you guys don't like coming to my country for these stupid meetings! But I assure you that I will make it so that you can still focus on your boring business even though being in such an awesome place might be distracting!"

There was a moment of silence.

"Right-o," Sighed Britain, "Now that he's done with that I think we should get back to our 'boring business'."

America pouted at his older brother who just rolled his eyes.

"Can you stop that? _That_ is distracting."

"Vee~. Leave him alone, England. He's just happy because he has a little bambino(10) on the way! It's going to be so cute! Can I babysit?! I asked Doitsu if _I_ could have a bambino! But he said no… He said I'm a boy." The excitable Italian paused for breath.

America smiled in spite of himself and was about to speak before his wife interjected.

"Italy. If you make another reference to my pregnancy I will have to leave." Belarus scowled, "I can't stand all the… cuteness."

"Baby…" America drawled, "They're just happy for us."

"Da, Natalya." Russia scowled, "You'll make an excellent mother. Your child will thrive with parents that are the have the emotional capacity of an iceberg." He looked at her husband, "And a puppy."

Belarus rubbed at her swollen stomach nervously and America ground his teeth. There was a tense quiet moment until North Italy exclaimed.

"I like puppies! They are so nice and cuddly and furry and happier the kitty cats. But I love kitty cats too! They can be so..."

Antonio didn't hear the rest of his ramblings because a voice whispered in his ear.

"Bastard… What do you want to do after the meeting?" Lovino mumbled, nipping at him ear a little.

Tonio shrugged him off and hissed quietly, "Lovi! Stop! We are in public. I…"

The Austrian across the table caught his eye and Tonio stopped himself midsentence. His hands came up to cups Lovino's face and their lips collided. Tongues clashed and the Italian's nails scratched at his bicep in approval. When they broke apart a couple seconds later, silence had fallen.

Most of the countries were shaking their heads and half of them looked offended.

"Uncool, you guys." America complained.

"_Totally_," said Poland.

"Well, I think it's awesome." Prussia pounded his fist on the table, "Lovino finally has someone whipped. Don't you think, Roddy?"

Austria took a deep breath, "Ja… Ja, of course." He looked up with a shaky smile, "Congratulations, Romano."

Antonio avoided the Austrian's look. Out of every country… Roderiech was the only one who looked… Hurt.

"Veee~" North Italy cried, "Finally my brother has someone to make the sex with other than me!"

Germany patted his boyfriend on the back.

Italy turned to him and mumbled, "Did I say something wrong, Doitsu?"

"Ja… A lot." He said with a shake of his head.

Austria stood up and directed his words to Japan, who was supposed to be leading the meeting but was far too quiet to be heard over all the shouting of the other nations, "I would take my leave."

Japan nodded and Austria left without another word. Antonio looked at his back in panic as the man exited the room but it was too late for to him to say anything. He sighed, ignoring the fact that Lovino had slipped his hand into his, and looked at Prussia. He was smiling, not even fazed by his boyfriend's disappearance. The 'awesome' country leaned over and muttered something in German in Switzerland's ear. Switzerland grimaced and scooted away, covering Liechtenstein's ears with him gloved hands.

Antonio shot up out of his seat, as red as a tomato. He was shaking with utter rage. While he was married to Roderiech he had learned German and was still nearly fluent. Prussia had said something to the effect of 'It should be good when we get home. He's fantastic in bed when he's angry.'

"I'll be leaving now too, gracias." He spoke to Japan in a tone that was not even close to a request for permission. Dropping Lovino's hand quickly, he strode out of the room, slamming the doors behind him. All he could see was the image of Gilbert taking Roderiech home and… And doing things to him. And…

He took deep, angry breaths. He'd never been more furious in his life and he didn't know why. Why should he care what they do? Why should that make him so angry?! A red hot fury was threatening to burst out of him. Quickly he ran to the nearest restroom and locked the door after him.

Splashing water on his face from one of sinks in a row, Antonio looked in the mirror. He saw himself. He saw a person that could never have what he wanted. He saw a person that should have never wanted it to begin with.

His fists balled up and he spat water at his reflection, "Gilipollas!(11)"

**X~X~X**

(10) Baby (Italian)

(11) Loosely translated as Asshole/Bastard (Someone who pisses you off) but in this case he's talking to himself

* * *

"You have no idea what's in store for you when we get out of this place." Gilbert whispered in his ear, placing his hand on his boyfriend's thigh.

"Ja…" Roderiech answered with disinterest, "Should be gut(12)."

"It is…" The man's hand shifted to the crouch of his trousers.

Austria jumped back, hissing, "What do you think you are doing?!"

Gilbert frowned, "Touching my boyfriend inappropriately in an inappropriate setting."

Roderiech took a deep breath, shaking his head, trying to find the words to explain the situation to the stubborn nation. But Prussia cut him off.

"Why do you always do this, Roddy?!" He looked at the man in confusion, "Always. Whenever I try to… Touch you. Do anything. You always pull away. What is it? Just tell me."

Roderiech shook his head, tapping his pen on the table, "Nein... I don't—"

"You do!" Gilbert insisted in a low voice, "The only time we… The only time you don't flinch is when you're angry."

He opened his mouth to respond, but he closed it. His violet eyes flickered up to green ones across the table. Antonio's eyes widened and he looked back at the Italian next to him. He brought his hands up to cup Lovino's face and kissed him with a passion Roderiech hadn't seen in the Spaniard since… Since the last night they were together.

The breath caught in his throat as he stared at them. He heard mingled noises of disapproval and shock from all of the nations gathered but all he could see was Antonio kissing another man. His Antonio. His Anton.

"Well, I think it's awesome." Gilbert said enthusiastically, "Lovino finally has someone whipped. Don't you think, Roddy?"

He closed his mouth, swallowing but his throat was completely dry, "Ja… Ja, of course." He mustered a face that looked like a smile, "Congratulations, Romano."

He just stared. What could he do? It was over. Roderiech heard Feliciano babbling on but did not truly listen to the words. Antonio wouldn't look at him, but Romano did. South Italy gave him a wicked smirk and mouthed the words, "He's mine now."

Roderiech stood up, almost knocking over his chair, "I would take my leave." He exclaimed as a last ditch effort. The taciturn Japan nodded at him. Shakily he walked out of the room, careful not to say another word.

He walked briskly to the nearest room, a bathroom, and collapsed. Tears streamed down his face. Aloud sob ripped through his throat and hid his face in his coat.

'_He's mine now.'_

It was true. Anton was done with him. He had said move on… But where was he supposed to go? Back into the arms of Gilbert? Roderiech shuddered. Every time he saw the albino, he felt… so dirty. But when he saw Romano with… Antonio. They were different. The Spaniard looked happy. He finally looked happy. He wasn't thinking of anyone else. Not like when Roderiech was with Gilbert.

The Austrian heard a shout and the slam of a door. Quickly he slipped into one of the stalls, trying to quiet himself. Wiping his eyes on his cravat, he listened to the approaching footsteps. The door banged open and there was a grunt before the faucet turned on for just a moment. The running water stopped and one word was uttered with so much hatred and loathing that Roderiech could scarcely believe that it came from the person whose voice it was.

"Gilipollas!"

Roderiech stopped breathing and turned his head so that he could see the man through the crack in the stall. Antonio's back was to him with his head hung over the sink. He was mumbling to himself in Spanish before he looked up at his reflection.

"You… Disgust me." He spat the words at himself in the mirror, "Look at you… You are nothing. You are just a man dating a boy… A boy that repulses you." His hand balled into a fist and he punched the mirror. His reflection shattered and he shouted, "When you love someone else! Someone you can't have! What's wrong with you?!" He looked deeply into his green eyes and in a broken voice whispered, "What's wrong with me…?"

Roderiech inhaled sharply, trying to make sense of everything he had heard. He… hated being with Romano?

Antonio whipped around at the sound, "Who's there?!"

He held his cravat to his mouth to stifle his breath.

"Had a good time watching me?!" Antonio's anger was directed at the stalls now and he walked toward them, his hand dripping blood on the linoleum, "'Oh, there is pathetic Tonio! Let's watch him! Let's see him suffer! Let's see him break down!'" He kicked in one of the stalls but it was empty, "Well I'm here! Come laugh in my face! Come out here and tell me how I should get over him!" He kicked in another empty one. "Tell me that he's gone! Tell me that Roderiech is gone!" He kicked in a third and stopped short.

He stared at the man in shock, his jaw open to shout again.

Roderiech stood up, drying his eyes on his cravat once more before clearing his throat, "Antonio."

Antonio swallowed, "R-Roderiech.."

The Austrian stared at his ex-husband for a moment more, "Well… I'm sorry that I overheard your private… ramblings. I should be getting back to the meeting." He pushed passed the man and walked quickly to the door. A strong tanned hand caught his wrist.

"… Bello.(13)" Antonio whispered.

"Nein. Stop." Roderiech didn't look back, "It never happened." He tried to pull away but Antonio's hand held his wrist tighter.

"Please…" Something trickled down Roderiech's hand. He looked down to see blood running down the Spaniard's sleeve.

"Anton! Your hand." He turned and brought the hand up for his inspection. It wasn't bleeding much but he heard Antonio inhale sharply at his touch. He looked up into those sparkling green eyes and adjusted his glasses, "What is it…?"

Antonio smiled, "You called me Anton."

Roderiech tensed up as the man brought his hand up to his lips and pressed a soft kiss on it, never breaking eye contact.

"Anton.." He whispered before shaking his head and snatching his hand back, "_Antonio._ We are done… I'm with…" He swallowed, "I'm with Gilbert."

Antonio turned away, "Lo siento.(14) Forgive me… I-I.. Si." He turned back around and bit his lip, avoiding Roderiech's violet eyes, "I should leave you to…" He paused, looking into the Austrian's face carefully, "Wh-What were you doing in here?"

Roderiech's eyes widened and he covered his tear streaked face, "Nothing.. I was just…"

A firm hand lifted his chin up and piercing eyes scrutinized his face, "Bello.. Were you..?"

He stomach filled with butterflies as he tried to move away, but Tonio pulled him closer, "Were you crying?" Carefully him removed his glasses and studied his violet eyes intensely. He was only inches away.

Roderiech's lips collided with Antonio's. A stunned second passed before they embraced tightly and everything else was forgotten. Their kiss deepened and Roderiech moaned into Tonio's lips as the taller man pressed him against the wall. Lips moved together in a familiar and new rhythm. Bodies fit together perfectly in a rough, tender way. He gripped at the Spaniard's back as lips traveled down Roderiech's neck and toward the open collar of his jacket. Roderiech's calloused fingers crept up to entwine themselves in Antonio's tangled mop of black hair.

"Anton…" He moaned. Roderiech's eyes flew open and he shoved Antonio off him.

Antonio stumbled back a few steps and looked up at the man, "What..? I…"

"Nein!" Roderiech screamed at him, "You… You were _done _with me! You said… We said 'goodbye'!" His eyes flitted to the door in panic. Gilbert was just in the other room. He looked back and whispered in a stern voice—an anger he didn't understand just bubbling under the surface, "This _never_ happened."

"Bello…" Antonio pleaded with him, taking another step forward, "Bello… Te amo…"

Roderiech stalked over to the door, shooting a glance over his shoulder that he hoped was steelier than his wavering emotions, "Auf Wiedersehen(15), España.(16)"

He slammed the door behind him, his heart full of regret. He leaned against the wall and whispered into the door; tears brimmed in his eyes, "Ich liebe dich auch (17), Anton…"

**X~X~X**

(12) Good (German)

(13) (Bello) Beautiful. (Spanish) I know… Technically it's an adjective and no normal person would ever use it as a nickname… But Antonio is no normal person. :)

(14) I'm sorry. (Spanish)

(15) Goodbye (German)

(16) Spain (Spanish)

(17) I love you too. (German)

* * *

**(A/N): So what do guys think? Do you want it to end with that? Or do you want more? Review or PM me with your answer!**


	2. Chapter 2

**(A/N): Sorry this took so long but I was out of town and... *blah blah blah more excuses* If you have any questions or comments feel free. I always answer.**

**WARNINGS! I have to apologize in advance to people. I originally intended this to be very tame as far as the adult themes go but it did get a little more explicit in this chapter. So just be aware of that.**

* * *

Roderiech walked back into the meeting room, shutting the door as soundlessly as possible. There was a slight lull in the constant chattering of the nations. He looked up. Most eyes were on him but only one person spoke up.

"Yo, Specs!" America called to him, "... Where are your specs?"

Roderiech's eyes widened and his hands flew to his face. His glasses were gone. They must still be with... He stomach flip-flopped and he cursed himself for not noticing their absence. His eyesight wasn't really that bad, he had just grown accused to them.

Roderiech looked back at the young loud nation who was still expecting an answer, "It is none of your business, America. And don't call me 'specs'. You wear glasses too."

"But mine are badass! Don't mess with Texas, dude." But he just shrugged and turned his attention back to his wife who was trying to break up a silly quarrel between Poland and Lithuania. The latter of which looked far too happy to have Belarus's attention. Roderiech shook his head as he sat back down next to Gilbert. Lithuania would be in serious trouble if America or God forbid Belarus ever found out about his crush. But it was only a silly little crush. Nothing more. His stomach churned as he looked at Antonio's empty seat. Just a crush…

"So, Roddy..." Gilbert leaned in to whisper in his ear, "What _did _happen to your glasses?"

"Uhh..." Roderiech thought quickly, "They broke."

Gilbert's smile widened. "Did that make you... angry?" He purred.

Roderiech mustered what was close enough to a smirk to fool his boyfriend, "Very angry."

Gil moaned softly, "Gut.. Because I'm_ dying_ over here!"

Roderiech nodded, trying not to think about the night the man was planning for him.

"But, Roddy?"

He raised an eyebrow at Prussia.

"You are getting them fixed, Ja? You look… plain without your glasses."

Roderiech gave him a tight smile, "Of course. Anything to make you happy, Liebe."

**X~X~X**

Antonio's eyes widened as Roderiech slammed the door of the bathroom. He felt his heart break all over again. He fell on the floor, his head spinning. Why…? Why would he leave? _Roderiech… _That Austrian had a unique power to fill him with a joy unlike any other and then crush him in the most brutal way. Tears stung his eyes and he blinked them back.

He breathed in shakily through his nose. Stop. It was over. They were done. He rubbed at his eyes, almost summoning the strength to get and return to the meeting, return to Lovi. Something sharp scratched his face. He opened his hand to see what was still clutched in there. Glasses.

A sob bubbled in the back of his throat and he lost control over himself. His body crumbled in on itself and tears streamed down his face. Only one word was on his lips.

"B-Bello…"

**X~X~X**

Roderiech slid out of bed soundlessly.

Gilbert groaned, burying his face in the pillow and pulling the sheets over his head—his voice coming out muffled, "Fine. Go take a shower. But don't wake me up when you get back."

"I never do." Roderiech muttered under his breath as he walked to bathroom.

Letting the scalding hot water run over his naked body, he sighed. He tried to rid his mind of the image of Gilbert hovering over him with those red eyes and wicked smile. He winced, remembering all of the other things he let Gilbert do to him. He felt sick as the red embers were burned into his mind. Those eyes. Those red eyes.

The image of his boyfriend changed and morphed in his mind. The glinting red eyes turned to green. The Spaniard's face smiled at him.

"_Bello..." _

Roderiech ignored it, lathering more soap on his chest. Whispers, touches. His lover... Roderiech brought his hand to his face. His fingers touched his lips. The kiss. It filled his mind. It was the only thing that felt right. The only thing that even come close was the feeling of his fingers caressing the ivory keys of his piano. But to caress the Spaniard. For Antonio to... touch him.

His head fell forward and water dripped down is face. He bit his lip, his eyes squeezed shut to keep his emotions at bay, "Anton..."

Roderiech turned off the water and stepped out, grabbing a towel and wrapping it around his body. He troubled his hair with another, avoiding his reflection in the mirror. After his ritualistic shower following the nighttime activities his boyfriend demanded, he could spend hours contemplating his reflection. It was how he thought. And his thoughts were never good.

But he didn't look this time. He knew what he would see. It would be the same face he had seen after the divorce. A burning longing mixed with utter heartbreak. And it made him feel useless.

Another walk to his piano and he sat down. Peace. Always peace. His brow furrowed and he opened the lid with a snap. Peace! But the tranquil release he relied on didn't come. Only more memories of the sweet tomato scent of the man he loved. Only thoughts of him. He slammed the lid down furiously and crossed the room to where his cellphone lay so innocently.

He scrolled through his contacts, pretending that he hadn't memorized the number. He tapped the green button and raised the phone up to his ear, the entire conversation he intended to have with the bastard that had broken his heart running through his head.

"_Hello?"_

"_Listen, Antonio. For once don't interrupt me with your pathetic mindless ramblings."_

"…"

"_What you did was completely in appropriate and unfair. You broke my heart. I never want to see you again unless I'm forced to listen to your stupid unprepared presentations about the terrible state of your economy at meeting. Verstanden? (1)"_

That voice as warm and smooth as honey answered, though he sounded breathless, "Bello—Roderiech..? Wh-What is it?"

He felt his resolve crumble in on itself and his lips trembled, "An-Anton... Anton, I need you."

**X~X~X**

(1) Understood? (German)

* * *

Lovino sat next to him on the couch, curled around him and stoking his lower back.

"What are you doing?" The Italian whispered in his ear.

Antonio raised his eyebrow and gestured to the book in his hands, "Reading. What else would I be doing?"

Lovino sat up, "Well, it's just that you haven't actually turned the page in five minutes."

He swallowed, looking down at the page he had been staring at, "Oh… Y-Yeah…"

Lovino rolled his eyes, "I'm going to make some coffee, want any?"

Antonio nodded shakily, "Si. Con leche(2)?"

The man shrugged in acknowledgment as he walked out of the room.

Antonio sighed, his head falling in his hands. He hadn't been reading. He had been thinking of the same thing. His lips on Roderiech's. His hands tightened around the book and he tossed it on the couch. It fell open on the cushion with a very unsatisfying rustle.

He grunted in frustration as he heard his cell phone ring. He rolled his eyes, thinking it was Lovino calling from the other room. That was the boy's definition of cute and he had done it _many _times before. But as he stretched over the couch to retrieve it from the coffee table, he glanced at the caller ID.

His hands began to tremble and his breath quickened as the word 'AUSTRIA' glared up at him. He flipped the phone open with trembling fingers, "Bello—" He cut himself off and swallowed, "Roderiech..? Wh-What is it?"

He heard a broken voice whisper through the other end, "An-Anton... Anton, I need you."

His eyes widened and a low voice that he didn't recognize spoke from his throat, "Where are you?"

"Home… But… He's here." Roderiech hissed.

"Meet me in Salzburg." Antonio said before hanging up the phone quickly. If he left at that exact moment then he could be in Austria in no time. A leapt up and headed to the door.

"Tonio?"

He looked back to see Lovino scowling at him and holding a cup of coffee in each hand.

"Where are you going at this time of night?"

He bit his lip, "Lovi… I'm.." He grabbed a coat from the hall closet, "I'll be back in the morning, okay?" He gave him a kind smile, "No need to worry your pretty little head about it."

Lovino rolled his eyes and grumbled something about wasting perfectly good coffee, but shrugged at the Spaniard.

Antonio felt a squirming feeling in his gut about lying to Lovino. He couldn't just… But the he remembered the warm sunny sensation he got whenever he was around Roderiech. The pure… Love. He opened the door and left, not forgetting the place a certain pair of glasses in his coat pocket before shutting the door on his home and his faithful boyfriend.

**X~X~X**

(2) With milk (Spanish)

* * *

Roderiech bit his lip nervously as he waited in his house in Salzburg. This was a bad idea. A_ really_ bad idea. What if Gilbert found out? Why was this so important anyway?! Why did he need to see Antonio in person? It… He wasn't going to anything with him.. So why?

He sighed, the guilty knot in his stomach tightening uncomfortably. He stood up, exploring his house a little more. It had been years, perhaps decades since he'd been there so it took him a moment to remember where everything was. His foot snagged on the rug and he stumbled into a room he thought was the kitchen. But it wasn't.

The knot in his stomach loosened and he gave a small smile. His piano. His fingers flew across the keys and his small smile returned. He played and played and was drowned in a sea of music. Too many notes? Nein. It was perfect.

He played for so long that he completely lost track of time. But soon he felt strong arms wrap around his waist and a head fell on his shoulder. The messy mop of black hair tickled his cheek as Roderiech stiffened at the touch.

"Bello…" A voice whispered in his ear.

"Anton." Roderiech spoke, whipping around to face the Spaniard in annoyance. But Antonio's usual carefree look was gone, replaced by worry.

"¿Estas bein?"

He quickly stepped forward into Antonio's arm, wrapping his arms around his broad shoulders, "Nein…"

Roderiech's lips sought out their twin set and they kissed. Antonio hummed into his lips, picking him up by his slim waist. Before either of them knew it, Antonio was laying him down on a soft white bed. Roderiech felt feather light, tender kisses trailing down his neck. He frowned and pulled Antonio's head back up to look in his bright green eyes.

"Anton… Not today." He hissed, "It's been too long. I don't want gentle today."

A wide grin spread across Antonio's face and he pulled the Austrian back to him with the lust of a thousand lonely nights.

* * *

**(A/N): Also... I think this will be only two or three more chapters..? Maybe more? Unsure. Anyway! I hope you guys liked it! Reviews are appreciated and force me to actually write instead of procrastinating.**


	3. Chapter 3

**(A/N): Sorry this took so long, but I'm trying. Also I changed up my original plot and it's much better now!**

**(Warnings) A foul mouthed _Spaniard_ and some minor character death.**

* * *

Roderiech buried his face into his lover's chest and sighed contentedly. Home. He felt home. With strong, tanned arms wrapped around him, he could finally sleep, finally breath. His mind was clear and his thoughts were peaceful. He purred with pleasure as Antonio stroked his bare back, fingers caressing the soft skin gently.

"Mi amor(1)…" Antonio sighed, squeezing him tighter.

"Meine liebe(2)…" Roderiech shifted and pulled the Spaniard's head down to kiss him. Bliss for a moment.

"Bello…"

Roderiech's eyes shot open, "Anton?!" He was greeted by warm, if not shocked green eyes.

"¿Si?"

Roderiech jumped out of bed, "Was(3)…? Ich(4).. Ich…" He looked away, trying to remember. His clothes we scattered across the floor, "Nein. This is bad, Antonio."

He looked back the Spaniard whose face was as bright red as tomato.

"What?!" Roderiech huffed, "Can't you take this seriously for a second?"

"Estás(5) …" Antonio gulped, "You're naked."

Roderiech's eyes widened and he glanced down at his pale, but somewhat defined, naked body. His cheeks flushed as he scrambled to pull on his pants—his back to Antonio.

"N-Nein… I'm not." He stuttered, buttoning his wrinkled shirt over his pale chest.

Antonio cleared his throat, "Bello…?"

"Was, Anton?!" He shrieked, turning around to look at his lover. The man shrunk back a little, his brow furrowing in confusion and hurt.

"Are you staying, Roderiech?"

"Nein!" Roderiech's stomach bubbled with anger at the very thought, "I am not! I'm with Gilbert!" He pointed his finger at Antonio, "You… You did this! You tricked me!"

Antonio stood up in annoyance, clutching the sheet around his waist, "I did nothing of the sort! You called me! You begged me!"

Roderiech bit his lip but squared his shoulders in defiance.

"I was at home, minding my own business, with Lovi! When _you_ call! Claiming that you needed me!" Antonio yelled, striding toward him, "You need me?!"

His voice softened as he stared into wide violet eyes, "I need _you_, Bello."

Antonio's hand caressed the Austrian's hand as it tied his silk cravat. The silk fluttered to the floor, catching the sunlight as it cascaded down and spun the dust motes about. With that the rest of Roderiech's clothes fell to the floor with it.

**X~X~X**

(1) My love (Spanish)

(2) My love (German)

(3) What (German)

(4) I (German)

(5) You're (Spanish)

* * *

Antonio stumbled back into his house much later than he expected. He looked out at the sky. At least late afternoon, probably early evening. His stomach squirmed as he located the note he knew would be on his fridge quickly.

'See you later, Bastard. ~Lovi'

Antonio groaned. His boyfriend had left. He face palmed. His boyfriend had left while Antonio had been out with another man. A sudden noise caught his attention and Antonio lifted his head to see another person in his home. And unexpected person.

"Do you always keep this many tomates around?" The woman asked, wrinkling her nose as she swatted at the bowl of tomatoes lying on his kitchen table.

"Si~." Antonio approached the woman, "You know I do."

She rolled her pierced green eyes, letting her hand fall back to her side. She wore a red t-shirt with very tight fitting tan shorts that accentuated her favorite of her body.

She noticed him staring and smacked her ass, "You like my culo(6), Hermano(7)?"

He scowled, uncharacteristic for him, "No, Isabella. Just looking at what my hermana(8) is wearing outside. In public."

"Relax, Tonio." Isabel said, flopping down on the couch, "I can wear whatever I want." She pouted at him, "Besides… I'm not in public. I'm at my house."

"_My _house!" Antonio fumed, "This is my house! I live in Barcelona! _You _wanted to live in Madrid!" He mumbled to himself, "Landlocked. It may be the capital, but it's still landlocked."

She rolled her eyes, "Same difference, Tonio."

Her green eyes flashed up to his, "So… Why were you so late? When I go here last night Lovino was upset. And…" She smirked, "Hot and bothered. He would have slept with any Spaniard that came along." Isabel's head tilted curiously as he glared down at her, "I said no, hermano. I know you would be upset."

She scoffed, "You are such a prude when it comes to cheating."

He looked away.

"And rebounds! You wouldn't even sleep with the boy for a pity sex after you and the stuck up Austrian called it quits."

"We didn't 'call it quits'! We were forced apart!" Antonio bristled with anger.

Isabel blinked at her brother, as if noticing him for the first time. That was the one thing they shared—overwhelming obliviousness until something was called to their attention. Then they noticed everything. Antonio couldn't tell if you had gotten a stain on your shirt until you said something. But then he would notice everything from your new shoes to the slightly different way you parted your hair. It was the same with Isabel.

She looked him up and down carefully, "Where were you…?"

Antonio shifted uncomfortably under her gaze, "No-nowhere."

Isabel sighed and stood up, "You slept with him, didn't you?"

Antonio fell into a chair, head in hands, and groaned, "Si…"

"Are you going to tell, Lovi?" She asked with a shake of her head.

He looked up, "Of course! I have to! I have to end it with him!"

Her eyebrow rose questioningly, "¿Por qué?(9)"

"I-I… Because… It's wrong. I love Roderiech." Antonio stammered.

Isabel sighed again, "Si." She came up behind his chair and leaned over it, "You break up with Lovi. Then what?"

He looked at her with a blank stare.

"Then you start dating the Austrian again?" She shook her head, "Dios mío(10), hermano. Eres tan estúpido(11). You actually think that will work, don't you? It won't!"

Antonio looked at her in confusion, "But he loves me…"

Isabel groaned, "_I don't care! _Love never works. Love is not what motivates people." She grinned, "It's hate. Hate makes the world go round, Tonio!" She laughed, "Love doesn't bring people together. Hate breaks them apart! Now let me ask you something."

Isabel glanced down at her brother again, "Do you hate Lovi as much as you love the Austrian?"

Antonio stood up, "No! ¡Basta ya!(12). I don't hate Lovi! But I… I love Bello."

Isabel sneered at the pet name. "Fine. Then does _Roderiech_ hate Prussia, your _amigo_ (13), as much as he loves you?"

Antonio stopped the pacing he had started, "I don't… No se.(14)"

"Well, did he tell you?" She asked in annoyance.

He remembered the warm voice he loved so much filled with pain and anger uttering the words.

"_I am not! I'm with Gilbert!"_

Antonio paled. He turned on the spot to look at his sister. A small knowing smile played across her lips as he walked toward her. They embraced as Antonio whispered into her ear, "What do I do?"

She smirked, "Listen to me very carefully."

**X~X~X**

(6) Ass (Spanish)

(7) Brother (Spanish)

(8) Sister (Spanish)

(9) Why? (Spanish)

(10) My God (Spanish)

(11) You're so stupid (Spanish)

(12) Enough! (Spanish)

(13) Friend (Spanish)

(14) I don't know (Spanish)

* * *

Roderiech sighed and brushed his greasy hair out his face before he pushed his door open. His house was quiet and empty feeling. He walked quietly inside, praying that Elizabeta was out shopping and Gilbert had gone home. His hopes were dashed when he heard sounds coming from the Hungarian's room.

Noiselessly he moved through the house to stand just outside her room. The sounds grew louder and Roderiech realized they were voices. His eyebrows furrowed as he stared at the closed door. But they weren't proper voices, only noises. Moans, whispers, groans, grunts. Two people's voices mixed together in an excited passion. Roderiech's violet eyes widened as he heard Elizabeta moan out a name.

"_Gilbert."_

Gilbert's laughed echoed through his ears and more moans from Elizabeta ensued.

The breath caught in his throat. He should have burst into the room. He should have been angry. His schwester(14) and freund(15). His ex-wife and his boyfriend. He turned on his heel and walked away. He walked down the hallway. He walked out of his house. Never. He would never breathe a word of what he had witnessed.

When he returned, hours later, Gilbert was gone. 'Back home' Eliza had said, a faint blush spreading across her cheeks that Roderiech won't have noticed any other day. He had nodded and accepted the tea she handed him. Then back to the piano.

**X~X~X**

(14) Sister (German)

(15) Friend/Boyfriend (German)

* * *

It was a week before Antonio heard from Roderiech again. He hadn't called, or texted, or emailed, or screamed his name into the air in desperate hopes that the Austrian might hear him. Nothing. This was all under Isabel's instruction.

"Don't tell him that you love him. Don't tell him how 'special' he is or anything." Isabel rattled off instructions while pacing in front of him. The intent, serious look in her eye made him feel like he should have been taking notes, but she had been talking for a least ten minutes and his interest was waning.

"And lastly!"

The shrill tone of her voice forced him to pay attention once more.

"Don't call him 'Bello'."

Antonio's head jerked up, "¿Qué? But that's what I always call him!"

Isabel's harsh green gaze met his, "Hermano… Listen to me. You need to stop being sucked in by all this love." Her nose wrinkled at the last word, "It'll only hurt you, I promise."

She walked away, "You can sleep with him all you want, but don't love him."

Antonio watched her leave before heaving a deep breath. With all these rules and restrictions he doubted whether he'd ever speak to Roderiech again.

His phone rang.

Antonio grinned from ear to ear as he answered it, "Hola~!"

"Hola, bastard."

His face fell, "Oh… Hola, Lovi."

A crackling sigh reached his ears, "Si. I'm not going to be there tonight, Tonio. Feli is having problems with…" Antonio heard the other twin screaming in rapid Italian in background, "With breathing. Non lo so(16). See you some other time."

Lovino was forced to hang up before Antonio could respond because of a particularly sharp shriek from Feliciano. So Antonio was left with a dead line and an odd feeling in his stomach. Lovino wasn't going to be at his house that night.

He looked around quickly to see if Isabel was nearby before scrambling outside to make a phone call.

A very tired 'Ja?' answered him on the next to last ring.

Antonio grinned, "Bel—" He swallowed, thinking about Isabel's words of caution, "Roderiech."

There was a pause on the other line, waiting for him to continue.

Antonio swallowed and his voice grew deeper than he was used to, "Are you free tonight?"

Miles and miles away in his home in Vienna, Roderiech stood just outside his living room. He held the phone tightly and close to his ear as he watched Gilbert and Elizabeta talking. Eliza laughed and Gilbert reached out to touch her arm. She smiled at the warm touch and scooted almost imperceptibly closer to him on the couch.

"J-Ja." Roderiech replied, unable to keep the desperation and loneliness out of his voice, "Where?"

"Same place." The Spaniard sighed into the phone. The both hung up.

Antonio walked back inside to see Isabel looking at him, "I was thinking paella tonight, si?"

He shook his head, "No.. I'm going out."

Isabel glanced at him, narrowing her green eyes, "The Austrian?"

He nodded.

She sighed, "Don't make_ love_ to him. Just do him."

Antonio blushed and mumbled his assent before disappearing into his room.

Roderiech looked up from his phone and back to the couple in the other room. They laughed and talked and touched more. They had no idea he was there and maybe it was better that way. Roderiech frowned and walked away again.

**X~X~X**

(16) I don't know (Italian)

* * *

Her green eyes filled with frightened tears, "Bruder(17)?" Her brother lay with her in the gutter, dirty and starving. Lili pulled him in closer to her, trying to warm him against her frail body, "Noah? Bitte…"

There was no response from the young boy. Lili whimpered and pulled away, stroking his cold face, "Lassen Sie mich nicht.(18) Noah…"

Noah remained stiff and cold, unmoving. Not breathing. His last breath of life had been snuffed out hours ago and Lili was waiting to follow her brother to death. Lili cried softly. What was she to do without her brother? He had taken care of her, despite them being the same age. He had ruled their country with her only being an advisor or, as she had fancied herself, a princess. But now that he was gone… It was only her.

"Little girl?"

Lili shrieked and clutched her brother's body closer to her. Her sparkling green eyes searched the streets for the man who had spoken. But there was only a solitary person standing in the alley, looking at her with curious eyes. But he was only a teenager, nineteen at the most.

"Are you alright little girl?"

She shook her head, "N-Nein.." pulling her brother closer to her, acting as a type of shield.

The man frowned down at her and walked cautiously toward the siblings, "I'm Basch. It's okay, I won't hurt you. What's your name?"

Lili trembled as Basch approached her, "I'm Lili." She said in a high voice, weak from hunger and cold, "This is Noah." She gestured to the dead boy in her arms, "And we are Liechtenstein."

**X~X~X**

(17) Brother (German)

(18) Don't leave me (German)

* * *

**(A/N): Thank you to whomever is still reading this! I know it's taken me a long time, but I'm getting more excited about it now and maybe I'll start updating faster! You guys are awesome!**


	4. Chapter 4

**(A/N): And the plot thickens... :) Hope you guys like it. I officially decided how it's going to end last night.  
**

**Warnings: More minor character death and hook ups.**

* * *

Roderiech moaned into Antonio's mouth as the Spaniard pulled him into his lap. They were back in Salzburg and no one else was around. But for once they both had things on their minds other than each other.

Antonio, per Isabel's instructions, had not called Roderiech 'Bello' even once, but the Austrian took no notice of it. His thoughts turned to Gilbert and Elizabeta. Were they doing the same thing that he and Antonio were?

"Anton…" He moaned.

"Rodrrrrigo…" Antonio purred, pulling him in closer.

Roderiech heard a faint but distinct noise and tensed—a car door slamming. Antonio pulled back, looking up at him with concern.

"Roderiech?"

"Shhh!" Roderiech hissed in response, pushing himself out of his lap, "Hide!"

Antonio stumbled to his feet but didn't move, "¿Qué?"

"Hide!" Roderiech commanded, "Sophie's back!" He mentally cursed himself for his stupidity.

Antonio looked confused, "Your sister?" His eyes widened with realization, "Dios mío! This is Sophie's house, isn't it?!"

Roderiech huffed in annoyance, "Technically… But she's never here."

Antonio groaned, still not moving, "Rodrigo! You're as bad as Isabel!"

Roderiech scowled and grabbed ahold of the aggravated man, shoving him into the coat closet. He thought he could hear Antonio rolling his eyes through the door, but ignored him. Roderiech ran to the bathroom to fix his hair in a mirror and got back just in time to see Sophie's startled look.

"Roderiech!" She squeaked in surprise, before smoothing her expression, "Was…?"

He stepped forward, trying to think quickly, "Sophie!" Roderiech embraced his sister in his usual cold way.

She stiffened at the touch and hissed testily, "What are you doing?"

He stepped back awkwardly, "I am sorry. I didn't mean to make you feel uncomfortable."

Sophie rolled her eyes, "Nein, Roderiech. I meant what are you doing _here_? In my _home_?"

"In your home… Oh, Ich.." Roderiech shook his head; he wasn't ever this flustered. He took a deep breath.

"I didn't know you'd be home. I thought you'd be in Zurich for the month." Well… It wasn't a lie.

She frowned, "I was. It's been a month."

Roderiech's scowl became less pronounced, "The elapse of time has never stopped you before, schwester. And you don't like to leave your boyfriend."

Sophie smiled and set her bag down on her coffee table, "Ja, well I ran out of clean clothes." She sat down in a chair, gesturing for him to do the same.

He gave her a small smile and took a seat in the chair opposite her, one eye on the coat closet door, "How is Basch?"

"Gut." She chuckled, "Lili is doing well too. She misses me so much when I'm gone. She tried to get me to stay 'forever' this time by hiding my passport in her dresser. It only took me about a minute to convince her to give it back." She sighed, "Every time I see her she gets a little more grown up. You wouldn't think nations would grow that much but… she does. And Basch…" She trailed off, getting a distant look in her eye.

Roderiech was always concerned about his sister but rarely knew what to say to her. Whenever he opened his mouth it seemed to just upset her even more. But she and Basch had been dating for almost ten years now and Roderiech had been mulling the idea over for some time.

"I could buy your house."

She blinked and stared at him like he was insane and in her defense, he probably was, "Was?!"

He groaned, "Nein! That's not what I meant!" His head fell in his hands, "Sophie… I'm Austria."

Sophie rolled her eyes again, "Ja. Danke(1). I never knew."

Roderiech ran his hands through his hair in a tired way before looking up, "Nein… You are Austria too, but you don't have to be here." He sighed, unsure of how to phrase it, though he'd tried to many times, "Nations have to live in their countries, but you don't have to."

She blinked at him, "Roderiech… What are you talking about?"

He shook his head, "I mean that you should go. You should move in with them, you're hardly here anyway."

Sophie looked at him with concern, "But what about you, Bruder? I can't leave you."

"I'm fine, Sophie. I can do it by myself and besides," He chuckled, "Switzerland is close."

She bit her lip, "Ich-Ich… I don't know."

"You don't know because you don't want to move or you don't know because you don't know what Basch would think?" Roderiech asked her.

Sophie looked up at him with mortified eyes.

He groaned internally. He did it again.

"I'm sorry, Sophie."

"It's fine."

"Nein. Es tut mir leid(2)." He stood up and grasped her hands, "I didn't mean it like that. I never do."

She nodded, looking away.

Roderiech bit his lip, trying to think. Antonio was still in the closet. The Spaniard was probably laughing at the irony seeing as they had both been out of the closet for years, although Antonio had always been more conservative than hi m.

"Listen, Sophie." She glanced up at him.

"I need your help."

Sophie huffed, "Was ist das(3)?"

"I sort of brought someone here. I didn't think you'd be home."

Her eyes widened, "Ich… Oh! Gilbert?"

Roderiech gave her a relieved smile and started to nod, finally seeing a way out.

"Hell no! Not that Prussian!" Antonio burst out of the closet, "I don't care if you lie to her, but I am _not_ Gilbert!"

Sophie stood up, "Antonio?!"

He smiled warmly, "Sophia!" He pulled her into a hug, kissing her on each cheek in the Spanish costume, "So nice to see you again."

Sophie glared past him at her brother, "What is he doing here?"

"He's just here to—"

Antonio pulled away from her and interrupted Roderiech, "I'm just here to sleep with your brother in your spare room."

Roderiech sucked in a shocked breath, "Antonio!"

He looked back over his shoulder at the furious Austrian, "What? It doesn't mean anything. It's just a hook up."

Roderiech's lips trembled and he squeezed his eyes closed, "Very well then. I think it's time for you to leave." He walked Antonio to the door and forced him out, not that the taller man was giving him much trouble.

Antonio winked at him, "See you soon, Rodrigo."

Roderiech slammed the door. He hesitated, thinking hard and trying not to be overrun by the emotions he was kept under lock and key. A pause. Then he returned to the living room, not looking at his sister's expression. He knew what it would be. Disgust, annoyance, disapproval, and angry. He didn't want to see it.

In a split second his phone was in his hand and he had dialed the number.

"Bruder… Who are you calling?"

Roderiech forced himself to look up at her. But she wasn't angry. She looked at him in confusion and pity. That was worse than he could have imagined.

"My boyfriend."

**X~X~X**

(1) Thank you (German)

(2) I'm sorry (German)

(3) What is it? (German)

* * *

Antonio sat in the closet with his knees tucked up to his chest and felt like a child eavesdropping on his parents' conversation. Sophie and Roderiech were talking quietly and Antonio pouted. He shifted uncomfortably in the dim light. His leg brushed something that was leaning up against the wall of the closet and it fell lightly on him.

He frowned and picked it up carefully. It was a picture, but the glass was cracked. It had been put away instead of being fixed, probably because Sophie was so rarely here. It was a family. But not one in the conventionally sense. One built of close friends. In the back were Ludwig and his sister Louise along with Basch and Vera. In the front were Gilbert, Maria, Roderiech, and Sophie. Sitting on a stool was Elizabeta with her baby brother Daniel resting on one knee and Lili resting on the other.

His breath quickened. The picture must have been taken before World War II. He hadn't seen those two faces in a long time.

The baby, only two at the time, giggled up at his sister while Eliza tried extremely hard to keep a straight face, even though Antonio knew she would have loved nothing more than to giggle back at him and play peek-a-boo. Maria smirked at the camera, a keen glint in her red eyes. Her hand rested on her brother's shoulder, no doubt gripping it tightly to try to extract a grimace from Gilbert.

Both of them. Prussia and Hungary had been inducted into the Soviet Union after World War II. Ivan had taken Daniel and Maria, the two he perceived as weaker. This had forced Gilbert and Eliza to cooperate with everything he demanded of them.

It had been absolute hell for the two and not even once were they allowed to talk to their siblings. Only once did they even hear news of their wellbeing. And it was the news they dreaded.

Even before the Soviet Union was dissolved, Daniel and Maria were killed. Natalya had told them that her brother had brutally murdered them in some insane episode. Daniel, only five, had been protected by Maria, but she could only do so much. They funerals were held together and the friends and family stood by and watched as their loved ones were lowered into the ground.

Gilbert had been shocked and absolutely numb after his twin's death. He had drunk himself to rock bottom within six months and mutter constantly, _"She's not dead. She's not dead."_ It taken months, but Roderiech had managed to pull him out of his downward spiral.

Eliza had locked herself in her room. She mourned her baby brother by shedding gallons of tears each day. The kid she had treated and raised as son had been taken from her and she couldn't go on.

Again Roderiech had saved her. He had given her a home again, after she refused to go back to Budapest. But she still made frequent trips back in order to maintain it as a place of residence. She was the only Hungary left. And Gilbert was the only Prussia left.

Antonio gazed at the picture, running his fingers over the two faces he would never see alive again. He looked up at the sound of Roderiech's voice. Bello. His heart broke. How could he do this? Not just to Roderiech, but to Gilbert. Eliza. Lovino. Sophie. Isabel.

The names and faces of the people he was hurting spun around in his mind like some torturous cyclone. He bit his lip, closing his eyes. What was he doing? His eyes flew open as remembered Isabel's words.

"_Does Roderiech hate Prussia, your amigo, as much as he loves you?"_

His amigo, his friend. His Hermana had been right. Antonio gulped, thinking hard. There was only one thing he could do. And he _hated_ to do it.

He burst out of the closet with the full intention of breaking his Bello's heart.

**X~X~X**

Antonio banged on his door three hard times until his head fell against it with a thunk. Isabel opened it and he had to catch himself before he fell in. She smirked at him in way that made him shudder.

"You get some, Tonio?"

He ground his teeth and pushed past her, "My best friend, Isabel!" He yelled, stomping into his home, "My amigo!"

Isabel shook her head, closing the door, and followed him, "The Austrian? He's your best friend?"

"No!" Antonio yelled, running to his kitchen, "Gilbert!"

She blinked, "You're sleeping with Gilbert too?"

"No! Just Bello." He sighed, "Well… Just Lovino now."

She huffed, "You told him you loved him, didn't you?"

Antonio looked up at her.

Isabel's breath hitched, "Hermano… What did you do?"

"I left him."

She sighed, "Estúpido. You couldn't do it?"

He shook his head, "No…"

Isabel rolled her eyes and muttered an insult in Spanish before walking away. Antonio sat down on a barstool in his kitchen. Better. It was better this way. Roderiech had never really loved him, it was his fault. He had messed with Roderiech's mind. Better. Better with Gilbert.

He sighed and looked at his kitchen table. His blood boiled as a screamed ripped through his throat.

"ISABELLA! WHAT DID YOU DO THE MY TOMATES?!"

**X~X~X**

Gilbert adjusted his hoodie so the strings didn't bunch around his neck anymore and gave Roderiech a sidelong glance, "So… How is Sophie?"

"Gut." Roderiech muttered, not looking up from the sheet music he was studying, "She's moving in with Basch." He frowned to himself, "I think."

Gilbert nodded, lounging on the couch in his usual way, but he seemed tenser, "Cool. Cool… So… Is that why you were in Salzburg?"

"Ja." Roderiech lied easily. "I wanted to visit her."

Gilbert nodded again, shifting uncomfortably.

Roderiech looked up, "Is there something wrong?"

Gilbert shook his head quickly, "Nein! Nothing."

Roderiech looked back down at his Sonata and cleared his throat, "Eliza will be back in a week. She only went away to Budapest for business."

The albino sighed in relief and let his body relax before it stiffened again, "Was? Nein! I'm not worried about her! She's…" He looked away, "She's just a house guest."

Roderiech looked up in annoyance, "I'm a much better liar than you ever were. You've been after Elizabeta ever since you learned her actual sex."

Gilbert looked at him, "Roddy…"

"My name is Bel— " He swallowed, "My name is Roderiech!"

Gilbert swallowed, "Roderiech… You don't know what you're saying."

Roderiech scowled, "I do, Gilbert."

"Nein." He shook his head, "You're just stressed. You've been spending way too much time on your music. And you're practically drowning in paperwork—"

Roderiech stiffened and stood up.

Gilbert's eyes widened, "Nein! I'm sorry, Roderiech! It's just an expression!"

He walked out of the room. He couldn't do it anymore; it was too much. He stopped just outside the door way, clutching the sheet music in his hand tightly. But he couldn't be alone. Gilbert called his name. His full name.

Roderiech turned on his heel and walked back into the room. He stared at Gilbert. Red eyes poured into his.

"Bitte, Roderiech… Es tut mir leid. Ich liebe di—."

Roderiech placed his fingers on the albino's lips, "Halt den Mund.(4)" He pushed him down on the couch and kissed him. Gilbert hesitated for just a moment before he kissed him back. It was the same as before fro Roderiech. He only had one word on his mind. Anton.

It was all teeth and rough. Gilbert flipped Roderiech over and climbed on top of him, all but ripping his closes off. No love was left between them, only hate. But hate makes the world go round.

**X~X~X**

(4) Shut up. (German)

* * *

**(A/N): I cannot thank you guys enough for reading. I really means a lot to me!**


	5. Chapter 5

**(A/N): Here's the next one. I'm going to try to update sooner... But it's hard with school and everything. Thanks you guys!**

* * *

"Anton!" Roderiech spluttered out a scream. He thrashed around in the cold, bone chilling ocean. It was dark and his clothes grew heavy and weighed him down, "ANTON!" He shrieked as salty water began to fill his lung. It stung his eyes and nose as he was pulled under the waves, still desperately trying to swim. Strong arms wrapped around his waist and pulled him down, down deeper. Black engulfed him.

But suddenly air filled his lungs. Slowly Roderiech opened his eyes to see tear filled green ones staring down at him.

"I almost lost you, Bello." Antonio choked and pulled him up to embrace him.

Roderiech's eyes widened as he let his husband sob into his chest. "Anton…" He whispered in a raspy voice. He was still sopping wet but he reached for Antonio's left hand.

"I'll never leave you, Anton." Roderiech mouthed. He lifted their hands to rest on his chest and their plain silver rings glinted into the dim moon light.

**X~X~X**

Roderiech woke with a start, choking and clawing at his throat. He felt the water suffocating him. A different set of strong arms gripped his waist.

"Roddy?" Gilbert asked sleepily, barely moving, "Are you okay?"

His shoulders were shaking with silent sobs, "N-Nein… I'm fine. Go back to sleep."

Gilbert hummed and pulled the sheets higher up over his face so that only his white hair poked out from under the covers. Roderiech breathed deeply, trying calm down. He was drowning. He was always drowning.

He threw off the warm, heavy blankets and slipped out of bed. He walked calmly to his piano, fully awake. The lid opened automatically and his fingers touched the ivory. It was still the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. A piano.

**X~X~X**

A shriek woke him. Roderiech jumped up, the side of his face imprinted with the piano keys he had fallen asleep on. It took a moment before the scream came again, this time mixed with garbled words in German. He ran to his bedroom.

Gilbert was curled up, rocking back and forth and clutching his knees so hard that he knuckles were bone white and his finger nails cut angry red marks into the pale flesh. In one of his balled up fists he held his cellphone. He looked up at Roderiech with wild red eyes, but his gaze went through him as he muttered the same words over and over again.

"Sie ist zurück. Sie ist zurück. Sie ist zurück. Sie ist zurück. Sie ist zurück. Sie ist zurück.(1)"

Roderiech looked at his boyfriend in concern then down at his watch, "Gilbert… It's alright. Eliza _is_ coming back today. She'll be here in a couple hours. But it's nothing to worry about."

He tried to approach him but Gilbert buried his face in his knees, still rocking back and forth in a manic way. Roderiech nodded, backing away.

"C-Can I help?" He stammered.

Gilbert shook his head, muttering even faster. The doorbell rang and Roderiech winced. Looks like she was back early.

"Would you like me to send Eliza in here?" He spoke softly.

Gilbert looked up and nodded vigorously.

Roderiech swallowed back all his emotions, turning on his heel to go get his ex-wife so that she could comfort his boyfriend.

**X~X~X**

(1) She's back. (German)

* * *

Antonio groaned, pulling his blankets further up over his head to bloke out the obnoxious sunlight and sound. A voice kept calling to him, telling him it was time to get up.

"Cinco minutos más.(2)" He begged in a muffled voice. The sheets were ripped away from him, leaving him exposed to the harsh stimuli of the world outside his cozy cocoon of bed linens and happiness. He groaned loudly, groping blindly for his covers. He cracked on eye open to see a very mean looking woman hovering above him.

"Get up, you lazy piece of shit." Isabel spoke in a commanding and far too loud voice, "You're just going to have a siesta later today."

Antonio scowled up at here, "What time is it?"

"Breakfast time."

His scowl became more pronounced, "I _never_ have breakfast."

She gritted her teeth, "I know you don't but it's time to get up."

He curled up more, grunting in annoyance.

Isabel flinched as she said the words, "I have tomates."

Antonio grinned and sprang out of bed, "Tomates~" He ran to his kitchen, trying not trip over his own feet. After quickly selecting a tomato out of the bowl he had returned to its rightful place on the kitchen table; Isabel had put them up in the cupboard. Ridiculous.

He bit into it happily, barely looking at his sister until she cleared her throat. He glanced over, slurping noisily at his tomato.

"Hmmm?" He asked as she wrinkled her nose at his eating habits.

"Someone called for you."

"Oh." He raised his eyebrow, "Lovi?"

She shook her head.

He looked up again. She was as white as a sheet. Her hair was unwashed and uncombed. There was an odd, scared glint in her eyes. Her voice had been louder than usual, but not out of anger.

"Roderiech?"

Isabel shook her head again.

He waited, but her mouth remained closed, "Hermana…?"

"It was Eliza."

He frowned, "¿Por qué?"

"Something's wrong with Gilbert."

Antonio blinked, reading her expression again with a practiced eye. He paled from what he saw there.

"Cinco minutos(3)." He rushed to his room to get dressed, still carrying his half eaten tomato.

**X~X~X**

(2) Five more minutes. (Spanish)

(3) Five minutes (Spanish)

* * *

Roderiech stood just outside his bedroom, staring at his boyfriend being cradled by Eliza. He was crying into her chest and she was muttering to him in soft German. Gilbert only nodded and sobbed more as Elizabeta held him. Roderiech had never seen anything like it.

There was a quick knock on the door and Roderiech forced his eyes from the saddest and sweetest sight he had ever seen. He walked quickly to the door, his face completely blank. It opened at his touch and two concerned faces met his. Isabel and Antonio.

"Where is he?" Antonio asked quickly.

Roderiech nodded at the Spaniard and led him back to see Gilbert. Antonio entered the room and knelt down by his best friend's bedside. They hadn't talked in a while, but their connection was still undeniable. Antonio had asked Gilbert before marrying Roderiech, just like he would a father. And Gilbert had helped him through the divorce.

Gilbert looked up at Antonio's voice and hissed something that Roderiech had heard a million times but still did not understand.

"_Sie ist zurück."_

_She's back._ Roderiech shook his head and left them alone. Isabel followed him to his living room—very quiet until they sat down.

"What's wrong with him?"

He opened his mouth, trying to think through it, "He's talking nonsense."

Isabel frowned and muttered, "He always talks nonsense."

Roderiech looked at her with sad eyes, "He won't tell me what's wrong, Isabelle. He won't let me help him."

"Did he ever?"

He shook his head as Isabel studied him with her green eyes. Roderiech looked up as she opened her mouth.

"Nein. You can stop it right there. I don't want to hear anything you have to say. You and your brother have an uncanny way of saying things no one wants you to say. And seeing things no one wants you to see." Roderiech scowled at her.

Isabel's eyes widened and she leaned back in her chair. She shut her mouth.

"Was..?" Roderiech asked in a worried voice.

"My brother?" Isabel asked, suppressing a smiled, "This is about Toni?"

"W-Was..? Nein!" Roderiech insisted, thoroughly irritated at the entire Spanish population.

Isabel shrugged, "Then what did he see? He must have seen something."

Roderiech sighed, "No-Nothing… He sees what he wants to. And he wanted a…" He trailed off.

"A hook up?"

His eyes shot up to hers.

She gave him a lopsided smile, "My brother doesn't know the meaning of 'hook up'." Isabel stuck out her tongue, "It's all _feelings_ and 'But I'm in love with mi Bello'. Gross."

Roderiech's eyebrow shot up, "Was…? He said..?"

Isabel groaned, standing up, "You knew him almost as well I do. You know he still loves you." She walked out of the room, mumbling something about 'checking on the bastard'.

Roderiech's eyes widened. Loved him?

"ISABELLA!" He heard Antonio scream and someone running toward him. The normally olive skinned Spaniard appeared in the doorway, out of breath and pale as ghost.

"Isabel?" He asked into the room.

Roderiech looked up, his shoulders hunched over in an odd posture for him, "She just left."

Antonio glanced down at him and faltered. His eyes shined with the love behind them before he looked away.

"Bitte…" Roderiech stood up, prepared to beg him, "Please tell me what's wrong with him."

Antonio bit his lip, "You won't like it."

Roderiech shook his head, "I don't care. I have to know!"

"It's the same." He whispered.

"The same as what, Antonio?!"

Tonio swallowed, "As when you found him…"

Roderiech paled.

Antonio looked up into his violet eyes, "He thinks she's alive again."

**X~X~X**

"_It'll be alright." She whispered to him._

_Gilbert shook his head, looking into her gleaming red eyes, "Don't leave me, Maria. Bitte. I need you, S_chwester._"_

_Maria sighed and pulled him in for a tight hug, "I'll be back before you know it! He can't keep us there forever." She laughed and pulled away, picking up Daniel in her arms, "And you'd better not change anything! When I get back, I'm just going to change it all back!"_

When he had been given the news, he hadn't believed it. His twin sister. She couldn't be gone. He would have felt something. Something dying inside him. But there was nothing, it felt like she was still there, just lost. Gone from him, but still there.

But those two coffins didn't lie. They had been nailed shut so no one had to see what had happened to Maria and Daniel in the end. But they were in there. There was no way to deny it. But he still did. That's when he had started drinking. It was the only way to dull the feeling. When he was drunk, he could believe she was gone. But when he was sober, she was always there with him.

Roderiech had made him stop drinking. Then she was back all the time. But then he had started dating Roderiech and Eliza had moved in with them. Her Daniel was gone, she had never denied it, and that made it easier for Gilbert. His schwester was gone. It was awful, but Maria was definitely gone.

Then he and Roderiech had started to drift apart. He started to lose his grip on reality again. He felt his twin was back. She was there. She was alive. She _had _to be alive. But Eliza had stopped it. One kiss was all it took for Maria to disappear again. And then one more. Kiss.

Eliza made her fade away with the love he felt for her. He loved Eliza. But Maria was never fully gone. She would always be with Gilbert, always alive, no matter what his brain told him. But he was working on it. He could almost trick his body into believing that she was gone again. That was until… the phone calls started again.

**X~X~X**

Roderiech swallowed, "He thinks that Maria is alive again?" He sighed, "Oh, Meine Liebe…"

Antonio looked up, "¿Qué?"

Roderiech gritted his teeth, "I was talking about my boyfriend Gilbert."

"Oh." The Spaniard bit his lip, leaning against the door frame.

Roderiech sneered, standing up and crossing his arms, "Not everything is about you, Tonio."

Antonio nodded, walking past him to sit down. He rubbed his temples, "Si. Lo sé(4)."

He gave a frustrated noise, "What did you even say to him?! Why would he trust you more than me? I got him to stop drinking! I saved him from himself! And still… It's only Eliza and Tonio. Not even Francis anymore."

Antonio looked up at the Austrian with sad green eyes. He was red in the face from anger and yelling. But he took a deep calming breath.

"I mean…" Roderiech shook his head and tried to keep his voice even, "Can you even imagine what it would be like to lose someone you loved like that?"

Antonio flinched, "Si… I can."

Roderiech adjusted his arms in their crossed position out of annoyance, "Isabel isn't going anywhere, Tonio."

Antonio shook his head, blocking out the image that was in his mind, "No. She isn't."

The Austrian sighed, "I have to get back to him." He stood, looking at Antonio out of the corner of his eye, "Will you still be here for much longer?"

Antonio just shook his head and Roderiech left. He closed his emerald eyes and leaned forward, his elbows on his knees and his chin in his hands. He drew a deep breath, swearing that he could smell the salt air. Sailing again. Like when he was an adventurer. A traveler. A Conquistador.

_He opened his eyes and breathed in the sea air. Wonderful, nothing better in the world than feeling the sea spray on your face._

"_Anton!" Roderiech shouted._

_Antonio lowered his head and chuckled. Maybe there one thing better than sailing. He stepped down off the very front of his ship, tugging on the ropes that kept his sails up. Crossing the sturdy wooden deck, he came up to his husband who was slightly green in the face._

"_Si, mi amor?"_

_Roderiech looked and gave him the best scowl he could manage, "Why didn't you tell me what it felt like to be on a boat before you offered to take me?!"_

_Tonio grinned, "Ship. And I didn't offer. You _insisted._ Also…" He cupped Roderiech green face in his hands, "You said didn't like being away from me."_

_Roderiech rolled his eyes, looking a little less queasy, and straightened the hat Antonio had perched on his head._

"_Your hat is ridiculous."_

"_You wear one that is way worse." Antonio countered, gesturing down at his attire. He wore loose pants, thick boots, a sword on his hip, and the aforementioned hat with a feather in, "Plus. _I_ have a sword."_

_Roderiech laughed and took a breath, finally letting a carefree smile grace his lips. Antonio pulled him up to his feet._

"_Now, Bello! There are so many things I want to show you!"_

_Roderiech grinned up at him and hugged him tight around the middle. Antonio showed him all the things that he had learned during his sailing days. Compasses and charts littered the tables in his Capitan's Quarters. Telescopes and sextants filled the shelves._

_He taught Roderiech how to use calipers to chart where they were and where they were headed. The Austrian loved it; he loved how Antonio helped him. The way he taught was so warm and sunny and irresistible. Before too long he wasn't paying much attention to the words Antonio was saying— only the way his lips moved. He pounced._

_Hours later Roderiech woke up from the pitching and harsh rocking of the ship to find the bed cold and empty. It was jet black outside, but he knew Antonio was on the deck looking out across the water. He dressed quickly and slipped out into the wind chill._

_Antonio was out there with his back to Roderiech. The Austrian examined his husband's back. His shoulders were tense and he stood steadily on the rocking boat, and though his expression was not visible it made Roderiech nervous to think about it. So he looked out at the sea too._

_Though he knew hardly anything about the ocean and sailing, he understood that something was wrong. The ship rocked and he realized that it was raining. He had though it was just the spray from the sea, but no. It was pouring down, making the deck slick. A rational fear clouded his mind and he stepped forward toward his husband._

_The ship pitched to the side and Roderiech was tossed overboard with nothing but a shrill scream in reaction._

"_Anton! ANTON!"_

"Si…" Antonio murmured, standing up and looking at the doorway Roderiech had disappeared down, "I can imagine what it would be like to lose someone I love." He turned around to find Isabel. It was time to go.

A shriek echoed through his ears and he froze. Then he began running. Isabella.

**X~X~X**

(4) I know. (Spanish)

* * *

**(A/N): Should be about... 3 more chapters? I don't know... Don't hold me to that number. Anywhere between 3 and 6. Probably.**


	6. Chapter 6

**(A/N): Oh my plot bunnies are my friends~**

**Another 'THANK YOU' to everyone! :D You guys are amazing!**

* * *

Antonio ran as fast he could. He burst out the back door, his head whipping from side to side as he desperately looked for his sister. He was in Roderiech's backyard. A beautiful garden to right was accented by a green field that sloped down to the left. Isabel sat on the ground with her knees to her chest, overlooking the field. She was hyperventilating and muttering to herself.

"Hermana!" Antonio screamed, running toward her, "What's wrong?"

She mumbled, burying her face in her knees. Antonio slowed down and tentatively placed a hand on her shoulder. Isabel shrank back, stumbling to her feet. Her face was streaked with tears but there was no more fear in her eyes, just determination.

She took a few steps away from him and threw her phone as hard and as far as she could. Her breath came in ragged gulps. She turned back toward him, her eyes burning with anger.

"Isabella?" Antonio whispered, "¿Estás bien?"

"I am now." Isabel responded breathlessly.

He walked toward his sister, "Hermana…"

Those green eyes pierced his soul, "¿Qué?"

He gulped, "What was that?"

Isabel looked away, "No one. She's not back."

Antonio paled, "What?! She's… Maria?"

"No!" Isabel tore away from him, heading back to the house, "She's dead! Maria's dead, Antonio! You know that! We all know that!"

She slammed the door, leaving Antonio outside by himself. He stared after her, contemplating his two options in his head. Follow his sister and get brushed off again or try to find out what was happening. He shook his head, turning on his heel. His back was to the door.

He ran down the hill and searched. It took him the better part of ten minutes, but he found the small black phone that used to be his sister's. The glass was shattered and it wouldn't turn on. Antonio stared down at the ruined thing in his hands. It had terrified her. He swallowed and pocketed the phone. Whatever it had been, it was gone now.

**X~X~X**

Roderiech entered his room cautiously. Eliza was still speaking to him in hushed tones, but Gilbert seemed much more aware. His red eyes flicked up to his boyfriend.

"Roddy!" Gilbert exclaimed breathlessly, pushing Eliza off of him slightly while still holding her hand tightly.

Roderiech shook his head, "Nein. I just wanted to know if you were alright."

Gilbert nodded, "I'm fine… Liebe." All three of them cringed at the use of the term of endearment.

"Don't." The Austrian implored, "Bitte. Don't." He turned to go.

Eliza continued whispering to Gil, but this time Roderiech could hear what she was saying.

"_It's alright. She's gone. She is. Maria's gone and Daniel's gone. But you still have me. And I have you. We'll be fine. Ich liebe dich. Ich liebe dich."_

"Ich liebe dich auch." Gilbert whispered as Roderiech closed the door.

He made his way back to the living room, thinking about a cup of tea and then piano. But he heard faint mutterings. A woman. Roderiech frowned, turning around to look back down the hallway. The voice was soft and undistinguished. He took a step back down the hallway until a hand caught his wrist.

Roderiech wheeled around and was face to face with Isabel. Her green eyes that were so like and yet so unlike her brother's were burning with resentment.

"I couldn't tell mi hermano." Her voice came out stilted, "But you're in trouble, Roderiech."

"Was?" He asked, trying to shake her off, "What did I do?"

Her grip tightened—sure to leave bruises, "You should have never slept with Antonio."

**X~X~X**

Antonio stepped back into his ex-husband's house, thinking about the easiest way to find Isabel without having to have another awkward conversation with Roderiech. But the house was completely silent, something it never was if Isabel was anywhere to be found. He frowned and called out her name, but there was no answer.

"Isabella!" He said louder. A low moan came from the hallway. For the second time in an hour, Antonio ran to find his sister. Slumped over in the hallway, Isabel was barely conscious. A line of blood trickled down from her temple. Antonio rushed to her side, his hand slipping into hers.

"Isabel? Isabel!"

Her eyelids fluttered open for just moment and one word was muttered from her dry lips, "… Austrian…."

His jaw hardened as he picked her up, carrying her like a baby. Austrian. 'That Austrian' as she always called him. Something about Roderiech. Antonio pushed the front door open with one arm, still cradling his sister. It didn't matter how much he loved Roderiech anymore, he would always love his family more. If that Austrian had done anything to hurt Isabel, if he had done _this_, Antonio would have his head.

Antonio got Isabel back to his house in record time. He laid her down in bed, pulling off her shoes and jacket before placing the blankets over her. She would be fine he told himself as he dampened a rag from the bathroom. Antonio walked back to her and washed the dried blood from her forehead. She'd be fine. She just need some rest.

His breath was coming in ragged angry huffs. She was a country, she couldn't be hurt permanently. At one point he'd been confided to a wheelchair, but he was fine now. Isabel would be fine. Antonio on the other hand…

Isabel drifted off into a more peaceful sleep as he finished wiping the blood off her face. He set the rag down on his bedside table with shaking hands. This was how it always started. And then it ended with blood. Always blood. Pure and unadulterated rage filled his mind. His eyes were clouded with red as he crossed the room and picked up his giant axe. Blood. Someone had to pay for hurting his sister.

Antonio's grip on the axe tightened, "Roderiech… If you did this…" He didn't want to finish the thought out loud. His mind already had a very vivid, red image in it. Someone would pay for hurting his Hermana.

**X~X~X**

Roderiech's eyes flew open and a scared squeak escaped his taped lips. His hands and feet were bound and he was tied down to a chair. But he wasn't blindfolded. His eyes shifted around the small, dark room, lighting on anything that he could see. A table. A chain suspended from the ceiling. A rickety staircase leading up.

He was in a basement of some sort, he could tell from the dank, but he had no idea where. His head was throbbing and he felt a wet stickiness matted in his hair. Blood. He tried to scream even with the duct tape over his mouth. A familiar voice spoke from the shadows.

"Oh no… I'm not ready for you yet." The once comforting voice had changed since he had last heard it. It was cold and harsh. Just like the needle that was jabbed into his neck. Roderiech's eyelids grew heavy and he slipped into unconsciousness one more.

**X~X~X**

Antonio's axe sunk into the door. Splinters flew everywhere and shards of wood landed on the tile inside. The door flew in and Antonio stepped into the house. It had probably been unlocked, but fuck it. He was pissed. No… he was angry. When he saw red, there were very few things that could stop him. And one of those things lay unconscious in her bed back in his house in Barcelona.

"RODERIECH!" He shouted at the top of his lungs, "STOP BEING A COÑO(1) AND COME OUT HERE! TELL ME WHAT YOU DID TO HER!"

There was a shout and then footsteps coming from Roderiech's room. Eliza's furious face appeared from the long hallway.

"What the hell is wrong with you?!" She hissed, the Hungarian accent she always tried to hide coming out, "Pofa be(2)!"

"I'm here to talk to Roderiech." He struggled to keep his voice even when talking to her, but the grip on his axe tightened, "But he's not coming out to face me because HE'S BEING A SCARED LITTLE PUTA(3)!" He shouted over her shoulder.

Eliza hissed and pushed him back, ignoring the sharp axe pointed at her face, "He's not here and Gilbert is sleeping!" Her voice grew quieter and more dangerous, "So if you know what's best for you, I'd leave _right_ now!"

Antonio ground his teeth, "Where is he then?"

"Ich weiß es nicht!(4)" She switched back into German seamlessly, "Go now, Antonio! I'm sure Isabel's worried about you. You need to go home."

"ISABEL'S HURT AND IT'S HIS FAULT!" He screamed, swinging his axe. It stuck into wall with thunk and he felt his white hot rage subside just the tiniest bit as he turned back to look at Elizabeta. Her face was as white as a sheet and her voice trembled as she spoke.

"Okay… Okay, Tonio. C-Calm down. I'm sorry that she's hurt." She swallowed and backed away just the tiniest bit, "But the best thing you can do when someone's hurt is help them. You need to go back home and help her."

Antonio jerked his axe out of the wall and looked back up, a crazy glint still in his eyes, "Alright. But tell Roderiech that when I come back, he's dead."

Elizabeta nodded profusely, "I w-will. But he's not here, Tonio."

Antonio sneered, "Then I'll find him myself." He kicked aside the torn up remains of the door and left.

Eliza's breath hitched as she watched him leave. She'd only seen him that upset once before. When he had been forced to divorce Roderiech. She felt very uneasy as she looked at the axe hole in the wall and the destroyed door.

She fished through the pocket in her apron for her cellphone. Calling Roderiech, Eliza put the phone up to her ear. But it rolled to voicemail after a few rings.

"Roderiech, I don't know what you did, but Antonio was just here and…" She trailed off, swallowing, "Don't come home. He's angry. He said he was going to kill you. You're not safe. Go somewhere where you can be safe…" She went to hang up before a thought occurred to her, "AND CALL ME BACK!"

She hung up the phone with a frown, trying to squash the nervous feelings flittering in her stomach. He always answered his phone.

**X~X~X**

(1) Pussy (Spanish)

(2) Shut up! (Hungarian)

(3) Bitch! (Spanish)

(4) I don't know! (German)

* * *

The person tightened the straps across Roderiech's shoulders. But this time he didn't make sound. He was still unconscious from the last injection into his neck. A sharp buzzing interrupted the internal musings of the person.

The shadowy figure pulled Roderiech's phone out of his pocket. A smirk pulled at chapped lips as the caller ID came into view. 'Elizabeta'.

"I'm sorry." The person spoke in an odd accent, "But Roderiech is a little tied up at the moment. You can't help him." They pressed 'decline call' and smashed the phone against the wall. Anger filled the dark voice, "No one can help!"

A calloused hand pushed the white hair out of glinting, murderous eyes. No one would help.

* * *

**(A/N): If anyone figures out who the mystery person is, I'd be curious to know the guesses. :3**


	7. Chapter 7

**(A/N): So I got a few guesses from people as to who the mystery person is but Gilbert and Lovino were the two most popular ones.**

**Also.. Let me just say this. I've been accused before of making stuff up as I go along. Although though I don't write a formal outline for my stories because I find it more creatively challenging. I /did/ know who the mystery person was going to be from near the beginning of the story.**

* * *

Isabel awoke with a start, one thought in her mind, "HERMANO!"

She sat up, but it took a moment for her to realize that she was back in Barcelona, in bed. A sharp hiss escaped her lips as her fingers found the cut on her forehead. It was more of a bruise than it was a cut, but it was still bleeding. Her stomach turned. She hated blood.

"Antonio!" She called him again, but there was no answer. Her vision felt fuzzy and she yawned. No reason not to go back to sleep. In the back of her mind she remembered something. Roderiech's terrified violet eyes right before that piercing pain to her temple that had made her crumple to the ground. It had come from behind her.

"That Austrian…" She murmured as she drifted off to sleep again, "That Austrian's in trouble…"

When she opened her eyes again a pair of fierce green ones bored into hers.

"Hermano?"

Antonio grunted and walked away from her. He leaned his axe against the wall with hunched shoulders. Isabel sat up, wincing from the pain to her head.

"Antonio…?" She muttered—eyes closed.

"¿Si?"

Her eyes flew open. The harshness in his voice. The axe. Antonio's shoulders were still shaking with rage.

"Hermano! ¿Qué tiene de malo(1)?"

Antonio turned back to face her. His green eyes looked as red as the blood he had sworn to draw for her. He approached the bedside, kneeling down by her, "You. You're hurt!" His nostrils flared, "Roderiech did this to you, didn't he?" Antonio leapt to his feet, making his way toward his axe again, "I'll kill him, Isabel! I'll have his—"

He felt a tight grip on his wrist. Turning around, he saw Isabel looking down. Her eyes flitted back and forth rapidly; her mind was going a mile a minute.

"N-No…" She spoke after a several seconds, her hand still wrapped firmly around his wrist, "He didn't do this." She looked up. Antonio was taken aback by the pain in her eyes, "But he was there. The Austrian is in trouble. He was taken."

**X~X~X**

(1) What's wrong? (Spanish)

* * *

Roderiech's eyes fluttered open. He was strapped to the same chair in the same dark room. His shoulders trembled as he tried to open his mouth. It was still taped shut. His throat and jaw were sore. He'd been screaming.

His tired eyes fell upon a chair opposite him. The shadowy figure sat very still—tense from anticipation. The face was hidden in darkness, but their hands were a glowing white. They looked mean and ugly, like they'd been used to do things that no one should have to do and then run over by a truck.

The figure crackled their knuckles one at a time. A dream, Roderiech thought. It had to be. But it all felt so real. The fear that filled his mind was unmistakable. A cry welled up in the back of his throat, but he kept it back. Sniveling had never helped him in the past and it sure as hell wasn't going to help him with his problem at the moment.

"Comfortable?" The person spoke quietly but authoritatively.

Roderiech was brought out of his thoughts and his head jerked up to look at his kidnapper. Biting remarks were on the tip if his tongue, but they came out muffled due to the tape. The person laughed at him.

He paled. He knew that laugh.

His kidnapper stood and walked over to him, face obscured by a hood, "You haven't changed a bit." They ripped the tape off his mouth. But all the snappy quips Roderiech had had disappeared from his mind.

The person crossed their arms, "Was? Nothing to say now? You used to talk so much. Drove Gil crazy." She grit her teeth, "And now… The poor little Austrian has nothing to say."

Roderiech's eyes widened, "Bitte… Your brother loves you. I-Ich.. You don't have to do this!"

"Keeseeseesee…" She hissed, "I know he loves me. He loved you too."

He swallowed, "I know… Let me go."

Her hands balled up into fists, "Nyet(2)! You have to stay here and pay for what you've done!"

The rest of the blood drained away from his cheeks as he spoke, "Was ist los mit dir?(3)"

Her nostrils flared and she grabbed his chin, forcing him to look up at her, "You want to know what's wrong with me, Roderiech?!" She ripped off her hood.

Her once beautiful face was gone. Thick, deep scars blemished the milky white skin. But they didn't look like the battle scars Ludwig and Louise had. They were precious, surgical almost, and not allowed to heal properly. A nation's wounds would always heal unless there was no hope left. Until they were completely abandoned. Her scars would never heal.

"It's like seeing a ghost isn't it?" She spoke, her red eyes glinting with hatred, "That's what I am now."

Roderiech's eyes were impossibly wide, "Maria?"

Maria smirked, "That's right, Roddy. I was lost in Hell. But it's alright because I've brought Hell back with me. All for you." She gave a sadistic laugh before tipping his chair back.

Roderiech spluttered out surprise when he didn't hit the floor. No. Not the floor. His head fell back into a tub of ice water. His eyes widened again and he tried to scream. But a firm hand covered his submerged mouth and nose with a rag.

Drowning. He was drowning.

**X~X~X**

(2) No! (Russian)

(3) What's wrong with you? (German)

* * *

Isabel sighed, clutching her head. Her hermano had left again and taken his axe with him. But this time he wasn't as angry, in fact he had looked scared. But he still wouldn't let her get up out of bed. So that's how she had come to this.

Isabel was sitting in bed listening to the doorbell ring over and over again and someone knock on the door countless times. They had been at it for at least five minutes and would not _shut up!_ She groaned, praying that they would either leave or just come in. It was unlocked!

"Oh, Dios mío! Just come in already!" She shouted, unable to take it anymore.

There was an argument and an exasperated groan from outside before the door swung open. The argument continued as the two brothers walked inside.

Finally one of them sighed and Lovino spoke, "Where are you, bastard? I thought you said we were all having dinner tonight?!"

"Veee~." Feli sighed, "I don't smell anything cooking, Fratello.(4)"

Lovino didn't answer, but Isabel heard footsteps approaching her room. He pushed the door open.

"What the hell happened to you?" Lovino asked. Feliciano poked his head in behind his twin.

"Oh, Bella~ You don't look so buona(5)." He bounded into the room to examine her before turning back to his brother, "Doesn't she look bad?"

Lovino rolled his eyes, trying hard to suppress a smile, "She looks hurt."

Feli looked back at Isabel and she saw his eyes widen with fear as he squeaked, "Sangue(6), Fratello! SANGUE!"

He leapt away from her and back into his twin's arms. Lovino laughed and held him close, whispering words of comfort to him. Feliciano looked back up at her through his the cracks in his fingers.

Isabel rolled her eyes, trying to ignore what she saw in the way Lovi hugged his brother. Maybe the Austrian had been right. She and her brother saw things that no one was meant to see.

"I'm alright, Feli." She groaned, sitting up straighter and pressing the rag to her head wound again, "What are you two doing here?"

"The bastard invited us for dinner." Lovino repeated.

Isabel nodded, "Lo siento, but he's not here."

Lovi snorted and walked out of the room, "Naturalmente(7)."

Feliciano stepped forward again, "Don't mind him. He's just upset because Big Brother Tonio hasn't been returning his calls."

"Si." Isabel sighed, "Come here, Feli."

He giggled and leapt into her lap like he used to when he was a bebé.

"Feli…" She trailed off.

"He's not coming for dinner, is he?"

She looked up, blinking in confusion at the boy, "No, he's not."

"Che ti è successo(8)?" He asked, his smile gone.

Isabel shook her head, "I got hurt. Que estaba siendo estúpida(9)." Her eyes softened, "Toni is going to fix it."

Feliciano nodded, "Is he going to come back, Bella?"

Isabel smiled, "Feli… It's your hermano. He'll always come back."

He frowned and put his arms around her, "Lovi will be sad."

**X~X~X**

(4) Brother. (Italian)

(5) Good (Italian)

(6) Blood! (Italian)

(7)Of course/Naturally (Italian)

(8) What happened to you? (Italian)

(9) I was being stupid. (Spanish)

* * *

Antonio collapsed on the ground. His head was spinning and his brain was threatening to shut down all together. Roderiech kidnapped. Roderiech _kidnapped_ by… He couldn't even complete the thought, it was too painful. A sob welled up in the back of his throat as his green eyes, bright with tears, slid closed.

"Bello." The whisper escaped his lips.

"_Anton, what are you doing?"_

Antonio's eyes flew open, "Bello?!" Roderiech hovered above him, a cross look on his face.

"_Anton, what are you doing?"_ He repeated, _"Just lying there on the ground? Are you just a little weakling?"_ Roderiech's eyes narrowed, _"Aren't you even worried about me at all?"_

Antonio scrambled to his feet, "Of course I am! I'm looking for you!"

Roderiech looked around at the ditch they were in, _"You think I'm in a dark alley in Salzburg?"_ He looked back at Antonio, thoroughly unimpressed.

"I-I…" Antonio stammered, "I don't know!"

"_Well, think about it! What scares you?"_

Antonio stopped for a moment, trying to think.

Roderiech gave an exasperated sigh, _"Okay! Maybe you don't know where I am! But you know somebody who does."_ He stepped closer to the beaten Spaniard, but his feet never touched the ground, _"Think, Anton. Who knows me better than you?"_

"Eliza?"

Roderiech rolled his eyes, _"My ex-wife who I didn't confide in even when we were married?"_

Tonio closed his eyes, "Fine! Gilbert?"

Roderiech cocked his head to the side, _"My cheating boyfriend?"_

Antonio's eyes widened, "He's cheating on you?"

The Austrian laughed, _"Anton! I'm not real! I'm in your mind. You knew he was cheating."_

He sighed, "I can't think of anyone—" Antonio's head shot up.

Roderiech smiled at him, _"There you go."_

Antonio grinned and looked up at him, but he was gone. Faded back into the shadow. But he'd said all he needed to.

"Sophie."

**X~X~X**

She sighed. Her bags were all packed and waiting by the door. All she needed to do was put them in her car and drive to Zurich. When she had asked Basch, he'd been so happy that he'd offered to fly her out that very day. She'd heard Lili's excited, happy squeal from over the phone. And Sophie had smiled.

Sophie heard a knock at the door. Immediately she dropped her bags and opened it in a flourish, happy to see any distraction to her predicament. But the sight on her doorstep was _not_ welcome.

"Hola~." Antonio smiled nervously.

Sophie slammed the door and turned around. Nein. Nein. Nein. Not him.

"Sophia!" He called her name, opening the door and walking in.

"My name is _Sophie_!" She screamed, trying to ignore him.

"Sophie!"

She felt a hand on her shoulder. She wheeled around, shoving him off easily, "Did you think dating a gun toting lunatic would make me soft?!" Sophie hissed at him through clenched teeth.

He shook his head and she realized he wasn't resisting; his axe lay abandoned on the floor several feet away. Sophie backed away.

"What do you need, Antonio?!"

He sat up, but didn't stand, "I need your help. Roderiech's been taken."

Sophie paled, "WHAT DID YOU DO?!"

"I-I…" Antonio stood, hanging his head in shame, "I'm not sure…" He looked back up, his green eyes pleading with her, "Please, Sophia. Where would someone take him?"

Sophie sat down on the floor; a chair suddenly too far away to bother with, "I don't know…" She buried her face in her knees, "How could this happen?"

Antonio swallowed, trying to think about what else the vision of his Bello had told him. Sophie. Sophie had to know.

"_What scares you?"_

Roderiech had asked him that.

"What is Roderiech afraid of?" He asked her.

Sophie looked up, "Was? I don't know!"

"You're his sister! What terrifies him?"

She shook her head, "I _don't _ know—" There was a pause. She drew breath, "You."

Antonio's eyes widened, "Me?"

Sophie bit her lip, "Well… Nein. He's been having nightmares for years. They're all about that trip you two took. Where he almost drowned. He-He…" She stopped.

He swallowed, "Drowning? That's what he's scared of?" Antonio felt sick. Of course it was drowning, the one thing he had failed to protect him from.

Sophie looked away.

"Sophia?"

She didn't answer.

Antonio stood up, "Sophia, is there more to it? It's not just drowning, is it?"

Sophie looked up, her violet eyes filling with tears, "Nein. There's more.

**X~X~X**

The water suffocated him, clawing into his lungs. Blackness and a chilling cold overcame him. And then suddenly there was air.

"Keeseeseesee." Maria laughed, "You didn't last as long that time."

One question burned in his mind. He'd lost track of the times that she'd drowned him and the revived him, but the one question still stuck with him.

With much difficulty, Roderiech managed to whisper out one word.

"Wie(10)?"

She stopped and looked at him, "How what?!"

His violet eyes rolled in the sockets to look at her; the meaning was clear in them.

"How did I survive? How am I alive?!" Maria shouted, her accent still an odd mixture of German, Prussian, and far too much Russian, "Wouldn't you love to know?!" She grabbed the rag again.

**X~X~X**

(10) How? (German)

* * *

**(A/N): Thank you guys! Still more to come but I'm going to have to take a short break to catch up on school work. But the next chapter should be pretty good!**


	8. Chapter 8

**(A/N): I'm back! I've been really busy and I also started two more stories that I've been working on rather than this one... But to be fair! I _will_ finish this one!**

**Okay... Warnings.. [WARNINGS] _Character death, abuse, language, mutilation! _I'm sorry if I forgot one.**

**Also... Not to give anything away for the end of the story, but. There will be no happy ending. That being said, read on! :D**

* * *

It was a shock. She didn't know what was happening. It was all a blur. Maria would have liked nothing more than to curl up into a ball and shut her eyes; pretend the world outside didn't exist. But she didn't, because she saw her brother's face.

Gilbert's red eyes filled with tears as he looked at her. This was not the first time she had seen her twin cry, but every time she did, something inside her broke. It was the most painful, saddest thing she had ever seen. And all she could do to deal with it was laugh.

"It'll be alright." Maria whispered to him, trying not to think about where she was going.

Her twin shook his head and she saw the pain in his eyes, "Don't leave me, Maria. Bitte. I need you, Schwester."

She sighed and pulled him in for a tight hug, "I'll be back before you know it! He can't keep us there forever."

Maria pulled away. Her stomach dropped as the thought sneaked into her mind, 'What if that's the last time I get to hug him?'

But she forced a smile and picked up Daniel, balancing him against her hip, "And you'd better not change anything! When I get back, I'm just going to change it all back!"

She gave one last laugh and kissed Gilbert's cheek before hugging Roderiech. Sophie was crying and Maria smiled, "Take care of Gil for me?"

Sophie nodded and Maria backed away. Louise hugged her next and kissed Daniel. Even Ludwig gave her a hug. Elizabeta rushed to her, "Maria.."

The Hungarian looked deep into her eyes as her voice broke, "Promise me. _Promise_ me that you'll take care of him. I-I.. If anything happened."

Maria smiled, hugging Eliza, "Don't worry. I _promise_. On my life, nothing will happen to Daniel."

Eliza's eyes filled with tears and something inside her snapped.

A long, sleek black car pulled up behind them and Ivan stepped out. Eliza's eyes widened and she fell down at the Russian's knees.

"Please!" She begged, "_Please_, take me instead! Don't take him! Please! I-I…" Her words faded as Ivan stepped around her and toward Maria.

"You and the boy get in, now." Ivan smiled and nodded to their farewell party. Maria bit her lip, her thoughts flying apart. She slipped into the car, Daniel still in her arms, and watched as her home disappeared.

Sophie clutched at Roderiech who hugged her close. Eliza collapsed on the ground, sobs racking through her body. Ludwig and Louise waved to the black care as it drove away. Maria's wide, red eyes searched for Gilbert, but he'd gone back inside.

"Maria?"

She turned her attention back to the boy in her lap, "Ja, Daniel?"

His big green eyes looked up at her, and his strong, olive Hungarian complexion contrasted beautifully with her white arm that held him close, "Hová megyünk?(1)"

She took a shaky breath and pulled the four year old closer to her, "Nirgends. Schließen Sie Ihre Augen.(2)"

He obeyed, resting his head against her chest as she sang a soft lullaby to him.

"_Schlaf, Kindlein, schlaf,__  
__Der Vater hüt die Schaf,__  
__Die Mutter schüttelts Bäumelein,__  
__Da fällt herab ein Träumelein.__  
__Schlaf, Kindlein, schlaf."_(3)

**X~X~X**

(1) Where are we going? (Hungarian)

(2) Nowhere. Close your eyes. (German)

(3) Schlaf, Kindlein, schalf. A German lullaby. It's an actual song, though that's not all of it, and it's _very_ pretty. I think Maria's voice is suited to it too. It's nicer in German but the common English version for it is: _Sleep, baby, sleep__. __Your father tends the sheep.__Your__mother__ shakes the dreamland tree.__And from it falls sweet dreams for thee__. Sleep, baby, sleep._

* * *

Ivan smiled down at her and Daniel as they stood in what looked like a throne room but in actuality was just his home in Moscow.

"Welcome, Prussia!" He laughed, "And welcome, Hungary." His arms extended and gestured to the people at his side. Ukraine, Belarus, Estonia, Latvia, and Lithuania all looked at the new recruits. No one smiled; there was no pretext of pride in their Union. Only sorrow. But no pity.

"Dobro pozhalovat'(4) to the Soviet Union."

Maria held her head high and let Daniel weep into her chest silently.

"Azt akarom…" Daniel's voice trembled as tears rolled down his chin, "Azt akarom, hogy menj haza.(5)"

Maria took a shaky breath and kissed the top of his head before shushing him, "Quiet, Daniel."

That night while everyone else slept, Daniel cuddled close to Maria in the dark.

"Where are we?" The little boy asked.

"Moscow."

"Where is that?"

"The Soviet Union."

"How far from home are we?"

She looked down at him, "Not that far…"

He buried his head in her chest, "When do we get to go home?"

Maria swallowed, "I don't know. Soon I hope." She lifted him up so that he could look into her eyes. His young face with creased with worry. Too much worry for a four year old. He was far too young for this.

"Daniel, listen to me." Maria gave him a serious face, "I will _not _let anything happen to you. I will look after you." She sighed and pulled him down again, "I promised your sister. So just stay close to me and listen to what they tell you to do. I'll take care of you. Gilbert and Eliza are doing everything they can to get us out of here, okay?"

He nodded against her chest, "Oke."

Maria sniffed and closed her eyes.

"Maria?"

"Ja…?"

"Sing to me?"

She smiled and sang softly.

"_Schlaf, Kindlein, schlaf,__  
__Der Vater hüt die Schaf,__  
__Die Mutter schüttelts Bäumelein,__  
__Da fällt herab ein Träumelein.__  
__Schlaf, Kindlein, schlaf."_

**X~X~X**_  
_

(4) Welcome (Russian)

(5) I want… I want to go home. (Hungarian)

* * *

But the next day Daniel was taken from her— ripped from her arms.

"What are you doing?!" She screamed at Ivan as Katya took him away, "You can't take him! I promised his sister that I'd take care of him! You can't separate us!"

A man's hand hit her hard across the face, sending her spinning to the floor, her long white hair flying everywhere.

"You have been allowed far too much freedom!" Ivan sneered, "In the Mother Country women are seen and not heard. Speak only when spoken to. You would do well to learn that."

Maria looked up at him, a trickle of blood at the corner of her mouth, "Oh ja? Well, you would do well to learn to GO TO HELL!" She spat the blood at him.

Within seconds Ivan had pulled her to her feet and smashed her against the wall. The wind whipped out of her lungs as he pinned her with his arm.

"Oh…" Ivan chuckled, "I'm going to have a good time breaking you."

She gasped, trying to regain her breath, "Well… You'd.. Better… Enjoy… Playing with your own dick. Because that's all you're gonna' do!" Maria snapped at him.

A cold metal pipe was at her throat. It forced her chin up so that she was looking at the ceiling. Her eyes crossed as she tried to keep Ivan in her line of vision.

"Watch your mouth or I'll find something to gag you with." Ivan spoke quietly, the danger evident in his voice.

"Kiss… My… Ass." She spat at him. He did find something to gag her with. No one would hear her screams. Not today.

**X~X~X**

"Are you alright?" A hesitant voice asked her.

Maria opened her eyes as best she could, the right one almost swollen shut. She didn't say a word. She lay on her cot and just stared up at the ceiling of her cell.

Natalya cleared her throat and repeated her question, "Are you alright, Maria?"

Maria scowled and shot up off the cot and approached the woman, "What do you want?!"

Natalya held a tray of food and jug of water. She didn't flinch as Maria stalked toward her, but that might have been because she knew that the Prussian couldn't hurt her. Maria's hands went up to the bars that separated her from the frail looking woman.

"I've had enough humiliation for a life time." Maria said bitterly.

"I'm not here to joke." Natalya said seriously, "I'm a trained nurse. Are you alright?"

Maria winced, "Nothin' I can't handle." She turned away. She heard the food tray and jug being pushed through the slot in her cell.

"Big brother isn't all that bad. He just has a temper." Natalya whispered with a shrug, "But it subsides if you keep your head down."

Maria felt her rage growing again, "A temper?!" She whipped around, "Nein… A man with a temper shouts and throws things. Your brother… is a psychopath." She pulled her shirt up to reveal her routinely and precisely bruised stomach, "Do I need to show you the ones below the belt?!" She hissed.

Natalya squared her jaw, "Do you think you are special?" She asked quietly, her eyes shifting back and forth in a learned paranoia, "Do you think you are the only one here that's hurt? Do you want to know what he gives to me every year on my birthday?!"

She rolled up her sleeve. Five. Ten. Fifteen. Twenty. Twenty four long deep scars on her arm with a slash in the middle every four to mark the five. They reached all the way from her wrist to the crook of her elbow. Maria's lips parted. They were counting.

"One for every year I've been a part of the Soviet Union." Natalya bit her lip to keep it from trembling, "'Do I need to show you the ones below the belt?'"

Maria fell back on her cot and shook her head, "No…"

Natalya stepped back, "Maria…"

Maria looked up.

"Head down." Natalya motioned down with her hand, "And try to fit in."

"Ja." Maria swallowed and met the Belarusian's eyes, "Da?"

Natalya nodded and shot her a small smile before she left the room. Maria looked down at the food that had been left for her, her long white hair falling in her face. Head down. Fit in. How had she been beaten so quickly?

**X~X~X**

Maria hung her head as she swept the floor. Natalya was dusting in the same room and occasionally she would spare her a glance, but they mostly kept to themselves. Natalya had helped her learn how to fake good behavior and with the combination of polite manners on Maria's part and a conversation with Ivan on Natalya's part, she had finally been let out of her cell. Maria didn't know what the cost to Natalya was to spring her from her jail, but the woman winced when she walk. She could only assume the price had been great.

The sound of Katya speaking to someone, giving them so kind of instructions, wafted in from another room, "Budʹte ostorozhny. Smotri, kuda stupitʹ.(6)"

A strong voice answered her, "Zatknisʹ. YA znayu, chto ya delayu.(7)"

Maria's head jerked up from the ground and her eyes locked onto Natalya's. The Belarusian was shaking her head frantically.

"Don't…" She warned her.

Maria ground her teeth, "Nyet. I made a promise." She dropped the broom and pushed through the doors.

Inside stood Katya who was watching a young man march in a military uniform. The boy held a gun and wore oversized boots, stern look on his face that was covered up by an older man's officer's hat.

"What the hell do you think you are doing?!" Maria yelled at Katya before running to Daniel. She knelt down in front of him.

"Ostanovitʹ(8), Ma'am!" He put his hand up to stop her from getting any closer.

Maria smiled, "Stop joking around, Daniel." But she saw the face under the Soviet hat. He was older. Much older. He was at least ten. Nations could age at alarming rates or not at all, but she had only been apart from him for six weeks. But the age was not the only thing she noticed. His green eyes were cold and hard.

"Daniel…" Her voice broke, "Bitte… What happened to you? What have you become?"

He stood up a little straighter, "I am a solider for the Soviet Army. I fight to kill Americans."

Maria's heart broke and she felt the tears she had kept bottled up for weeks spring to her eyes. She wrapped her arms around the boy, breaking down, "Daniel… Daniel, I _promised_ you that I would take care of you."

"Big brother takes care of me." Daniel replied stiffly.

Maria choked out a sob, "I promised your sister. I promised Eliza."

The boy blinked, "My sister…. Eliza?"

Maria's head snapped up, "Ja! Eliza! You remember her?"

He nodded, a confused look in his eye, like he was trying to remember something, "Ma-Maria?"

She bit her lip and nodded.

All the hardness and sternness left his feature and Daniel dropped his gun, hugging her back, "When do we get to go home?!" He sobbed, "I just want to go home."

Maria tried to console him, tried to tell him everything would be okay, but he was ripped from her arms again.

"Enough of this." Katya scowled, "I think you need to learn the attitude of a solider." She dragged him away.

Daniel's green eyes were bright with fear, "Maria!" He screamed, "MARIA! DON'T LET THEM TAKE ME AWAY! I WANT TO GO HOME!"

Maria growled and leapt up, only to be restrained by a familiar, ironclad grasp around her waist and neck.

"Daniel!" She shouted, "Don't worry! Just remember! Ich Liebe di(9)—" A hand clamped over her mouth and nose, effectively stopping all airflow.

"I _will_ break you." Ivan growled in her ear.

Maria bit his fingers as hard as she could and tried to wiggle out of his grasp. But he tightened it. She felt the air being squeezed out of her lungs. She couldn't breathe. Her nails clawed at his hairy arms, but he did not let go. Black edged into her vision she felt herself becoming blue in the face.

"Zasypatʹ…(10)" Ivan spoke in a singsong voice. Maria blacked out.

**X~X~X**

(6) Be careful. Watch where you step. (Russian)

(7) Shut up. I know what I'm doing. (Russian)

(8) Halt! (Russian)

(9) I love yo— (German)

(10) Sleep… (Russian)

* * *

Maria winced as Natalya treated her cuts and bruises. She was back in her cell, only getting out for a few hours at night when Ivan requested her. Those hours were torture but not like sitting alone in the dark, knowing that Daniel was somewhere being hurt. That was Hell.

"Have you heard about Daniel?" Maria asked Natalya.

The woman snipped the gauze she'd been wrapping Maria's arm in.

"I saw him the other day." Natalya said quietly. She looked up, a little smile on her face, "On v poryadke(11)."

Maria sighed. She didn't ask anymore. She knew that he wasn't himself, but if he was physically alright, then there was hope. She looked back down at the woman who was wetting a rag. Natalya reached up and washed the dried blood off her forehead. She was suspiciously quiet and far too focused on her task.

"Is something wrong?"

Natalya shook her head, "You need to be more careful. If you aren't… There's no telling what could happen to you."

Maria pushed the long hair out of her eyes and grit her teeth, "I don't care. I made a promise and I will do whatever it takes to fulfill it."

Natalya's soft violet eyes met her red ones, "Then don't do it for you. Do it for him. Do it for Daniel and his sister." She dipped the rag in the water again, "If you aren't alive, then you can't help him."

Maria nodded, "Da."

Live. If she lived, Daniel would live.

**X~X~X**

(11) He's okay. (Russian)

* * *

"_Are you going to behave?" Ivan asked._

"_Da."_

"_Are you going to cause any more trouble?"_

"_Nyet."_

"_Who are you?"_

_Maria held her head up high and tried not to bit her tongue, "I am Prussia, proud to be part of the Soviet Union."_

She was out again. Not cleaning, but she was out. Maria searched the house, trying to find Daniel. Of course she pretended that she was just wandering around aimlessly. She had been let out many times, but Katya had always prevented her from talking to Daniel or even seeing him.

Maria looked through every room she could find but the knot in her stomach was tightening. Not only could she not find him, she couldn't find anyone. Toris, Ravis, and Eduard had all disappeared. She hadn't seen Natalya since she had let her out of her cell that afternoon and Katya would be with Daniel. But there was no one in the entire house.

Her head whipped around. She had heard something. A faint voice. She ran all the way through the house and the voice grew louder. It was coming from the room she had seen on her first day. The throne room. She found a door that led into it and Maria was about to burst through it before she stopped.

No. This was what also got her in trouble. Her reckless abandon of all caution. And it was not going to help Daniel. With a painful, deep breath, Maria cracked the door open just enough to see out of it. Her eyes widened.

"Daniil," Ivan smiled at him, "Vy stali chelovekom bolʹshogo muzhestva i mudrosti. Vy delayete Sovetskiy Soyuz gordilsya.(12)"

Daniel gave a short bow. He was much older now. Maybe fifteen and he wore a military uniform that actually fit this time. He stood tall and strong in front of Ivan. The other Soviet states stood on either side of Ivan in the exact formation they had been in when Maria and Daniel had first arrived.

"Gotovy li vy prinyatʹ chestʹ stoyatʹ ryadom so mnoy, kak my gotovimsya k voyne s Amerikoy?(13)"

"YA(14)." Daniel's voice was deep, almost that of a man's.

"Gotovy li vy idti v boy i riskovatʹ svoyey zhiznʹyu dlya tekh iz vashikh lyudey?(15)"

"YA."

"Vy gotovy otdatʹ vse dlya(16)—?"

"Daniel!" Maria screamed, bursting through the doors exactly the way she had told herself not to, "Daniel, don't do it!"

Daniel turned his head, annoyed at the interruption until he saw her face. Maria was feet from him when Katya and Eduard restrained her arms.

"Daniel, listen to me." She cried, "I told you… I'd take care of you!"

His eyebrows pulled in as he stared at the crazed woman struggling against her captures, "M-Maria..?"

"Ja. It's me! Remember your sister! Remember how much Eliza loves you! Sie liebt dich(17). Don't give in to him!"

Daniel's eyes widened and his mouth parted, "Elizabeta…" He looked back at Ivan and his piercing green eyes narrowed, "Nyet. I am part of the Soviet Union now." He approached Ivan with a stern look on his face.

Ivan smiled at him and put his hand out to shake to shake that of his new recruit, "Good choice, tovarisch(18)."

Daniel gave him a short nod before extending his arm and punching Ivan square in the jaw. Maria shrieked as Daniel leapt on top of Ivan and punched him again and again.

"Hol van a húgom?! Mit tettél vele?! Hol van Eliza?!(19)" Daniel screamed at him before becoming stiff. He fell off of Ivan, a shocked look in his face.

"It's a shame…" Ivan pouted, standing up, "I had such hopes for you."

Maria's eyes widened as Ivan pulled the knife out of Daniel's stomach and kicked him.

"NEIN!" She screamed and ripped away from Katya and Eduard's slackened grips. She ran to Daniel and fell to her knees.

Katya and Eduard ran after her but Ivan stopped them, "Nyet…" A smile spread across his face, "Let her watch him die."

Maria clutched Daniel in her arms, "Daniel…"

He looked up at her, his eyes a million miles away, "Maria… Tell her I love her. Tell Eliza."

She shook her head, her eyes filling with tears, "Nein, you will see her again. I promised. I _promise_. You will see her." Maria looked at his wound. It was deep and he was losing a lot of blood. She had seen enough wounds like that on the battlefield to know how this ended. But she wouldn't accept it.

Her hand went up to cup his face, "Daniel.." She choked out, "Listen to me. You are a _Nation_! You will live. You will live on."

He smiled, "Eliza is Hungary. She always has been." Daniel laughed, "I am only what the Soviet Union has made me. _She_ is Hungary."

Tears rolled down her cheeks, "Bitte… Please. Live."

His face fell, "Tell her that I love her."

Maria nodded, hugging him close, "Ja. I will. Don't worry. You'll be okay. It's not painful. It's better."

Daniel exhaled shakily, "Maria?"

"J-Ja..?"

"Sing to me?"

Maria gave him a watery smile, "Of course, Liebling(20)." Her voice was soft and full of pain, but she sang him to sleep one last time.

"_Schlaf, Kindlein, schlaf,__  
__Der Vater hüt die Schaf,__  
__Die Mutter schüttelts Bäumelein,__  
__Da fällt herab ein Träumelein.__  
__Schlaf, Kindlein, schlaf."_

**X~X~X**

(12) Daniel. You have become a man of much courage and wisdom. You make the Soviet Union proud. (Russian)

(13)Are you ready to accept the honor of standing at my side as we prepare for war with America? (Russian)

(14) I am. (Russian)

(15)Are you ready to go into battle and risk your life for those of your people? (Russian)

(16) Are you willing to give up everything for— (Russian)

(17) She loves you. (German)

(18) Comrade (Russian)

(19) Where is my sister?! What have you done with her?! Where is Eliza?! (Hungarian)

(20) Darling (German)

* * *

**(A/N): Thank you all so much for reading. It really means a lot to me. I _did_ cry when I wrote this... And during editing. And after that... Also! If any of you still question my obsession with my writing this might help. I _actually_ drew 24 lines on my arm in Sharpie. Just to see if it would reach up to the crook of my elbow. It does. Love you all! 3**


	9. Chapter 9

**(A/N): Okay... Here's chapter 9 to for whomever's still reading this. I /promise/ it will end soon. PROMISE! That's a promise to you and me.**

**[WARNING]: More awfulness in general, not for the slightly squeamish. Now... As I said before. There will be no happy ending, but keep reading if you wish.**

* * *

Toni was still stunned. Sophie had told him what his Bello most feared, but he still couldn't believe it.

"I-I…" He was speechless, "Why would he ever think that?"

Sophie shook her head, biting her lip, "I don't know. My bruder's mind works in mysterious ways."

Antonio swallowed. His throat was dry, "That would never happen. I don't see how it could." He looked up, his green eyes determined, "I saved him. He didn't drown. And…" He took a shaky breath, "That'll _never_ happen."

Sophie sighed, "I don't see how this is going to help get Roddy back." Her angry violet eyes met his, "Who took him?"

Tonio paled, "Isabel told me…" He looked away.

Sophie stood up and walked over to him, "You have to tell me, Antonio! He's my bruder!" Her hands were balled up in fists.

He swallowed, "She saw her. She saw Maria take him."

Sophie stared at him incredulously before slapping him hard across the face, "That's _sick_." Her nostrils flared, "I understand that you might not have cared when our family was taken from us, but we did." She glared at him and spoke slowly, "Maria's death was noble. She was defending Daniel. And they both didn't give in without a fight. They were heroes."

Her breath came in ragged gulps, "They were our friends. Our family. And spitting on their deaths is disgraceful."

Antonio looked down, "Mi hermana knows what she saw."

"Your sister is a liar!" Sophie accused.

He stood up, finally angry, "Maria is alive! Isabel _saw_ her!" He swallowed, "And we both know that Gilbert's known for years."

Sophie turned away and her voice became quiet, "Gilbert is crazy. He doesn't know anything."

Antonio took a deep breath, "Sophia, I need your help…"

She didn't move.

His phone chimed in his pocket. Antonio pulled it out, hoping that it was Roderiech or perhaps Isabel with some more information. But it came from a number he didn't recognize. The text itself was just numbers and letters. In the back of his mind, he recognized them and what they were. But he didn't believe it.

"What's that?" Sophie asked, still not turning around.

He swallowed, "It's where Roderiech is."

Sophie pulled the phone out of his hands in a second flat. She screwed up her face in concentration, but couldn't make heads or tails of the numbers, "Was ist das?"

"Coordinates."

Her eyes lit up, "Wo?(1)"

His gaze drifted back to the phone and his hands balled up, "We need to go. Now."

"Where is mein bruder?"

"Now." Tonio turned around and grabbed his axe from the floor where it had been.

She ground her teeth, "Where?"

He looked back up, "He's in Spain."

Sophie frowned, "Alright then." She brushed past him and made for the door, "What city?"

"Off the coast of Barcelona."

She stopped and whipped around, "Was?!"

He swallowed again, "In the Mediterranean."

**X~X~X**

(1) Where?

* * *

Maria laughed as she put down her phone. Sent. She looked back at the man she still had tied down. He looked beaten, bruised, and soaked.

"How are you doing, Roddy?" She smiled, "Better? I've let you dry a little."

Roderiech swallowed with much difficulty. Keep breathing, just keep breathing.

"Why are you doing this, Maria?" His voice was so feeble that he couldn't believe it was his.

Anger flashed across her face again, "Because. Because I love my brother." She stalked over to him. Her fingers clamped around his neck, "Something you said too! You said you loved him!" Maria leaned in to whisper in his ear, "I've been watching you. I wait outside. I see you. I see you leave." Her hand tightened around his throat and Roderiech struggled, "I see you meeting with that Spaniard! I see you _cheating_ on my brother! You broke your promise to him!"

Roderiech shook his head, trying to speak, but his voice was choked, "Ne-Nein..! Mar-ria! I-I..—"

"Shut up!" She screamed, slapping him across the face, "I don't want to hear your excuses!"

His eyes pleaded with her, but she just sneered, "You've been awake too long anyway." Her voice got dangerously low, "It's time for you to die."

Roderiech screamed but she clamped the rag down over his mouth.

"Shh… Shhhh.." She cooed, "I'm not going to kill you." A cruel smirk crossed her scarred lips, "Not here." Swiftly Maria stuck another syringe into his neck, "Not here, Roddy…"

Roderiech tried to fight the sedative but it claimed him into the darkness before too long.

Maria stepped back, surveying her handiwork. He was broken.

"Now, Roddy." She scolded him, "We have to get going. We need to meet your Spanish whore before he gets there. But," She chuckled, "you know the Spaniards! Always late. Too late." She stepped closer to him, "Too late to save you."

"And then! There will be a show. But…" She smiled at the thought, "what would a show be like without the audience?" Maria picked up her cellphone and tapped out a quick message, cursing the autocorrect. She was still getting used to modern technology, but her burner phone would do just fine.

**X~X~X**

"Shhh…" Eliza cooed to Gilbert as he closed his eyes. He wasn't doing any better. Something was happening, this wasn't normal.

"She's back, Eliza." He muttered, "I know she is. I can feel her." His red eyes slid open and locked with her green ones, "And she's upset. She's not right in the head."

Eliza shook her head, "_You're_ not right in the head." She caressed his face lightly, "Calm down, Liebe. You'll be fine. I know it's hard, but you need to let her go."

Gilbert sprung out of bed, "Nein! Nein, I can't." His eyes were far away as he grabbed his coat and a pair of shoes before running out of the room.

"Gilbert!" She shouted, chasing after him and leaving her phone by his bedside. It beeped with a message from an unknown number, but she was not there to read it. "Where are you going?!"

The man stopped short, not looking back at her, and closed his eyes. He tried to focus his mind. His lips moved silently as he thought. "Spain." Gilbert said finally, "She's in Spain."

"Who?"

He looked back at her before continuing to run, "Maria… My sister is back."

Eliza's eyes widened as she struggled to keep up with his frenzied running. "I-I…" She caught up to him, grabbing his sleeve to keep him from opening the door, "Okay… Okay, you can go to Spain. But let me come with you."

Gilbert nodded, already reaching for the door. The Hungarian sighed. She'd never understood the odd connection between the albino twins. But the lack of the connection seemed to be driving him insane. Maybe, just maybe if he saw that Maria wasn't in Spain, he'd finally accept that she was gone.

Eliza gripped his hand tight as she pulled him along. And so to Spain they would go.

**X~X~X**

She sat in her cell, letting the years rot away her life. Her arm now bore similar marks to Natalya's. Her arm was up to eleven cuts, which by her calculation meant it was 1957. Everyone was a buzz about something that had been launched into the air. She was unsure what that meant, other than maybe a new kind of plane, but she didn't care to know more. (2)

Maria sat up and looked at the scars on her arm. Eleven. Eleven years she had been here and not once had she heard news of her brother. Or of anyone. She felt her twin's pain deep in her chest and she tried to reassure him, but the connection was so distant. It blurred. It had been so long since she had seen him.

A frown spread across her lips. Or a friendly face at all. The last time she had seen Natalya was that day that… Daniel had… Grief pulled at her heartstrings and she ran a rough hand through her short white hair.

"_You think you're a boy?!" Ivan yelled at her, "You think you can act like you are a man?! If you want to be a man then you should look like a man!" He cut her hair off. He had cut many things._

Maria gagged as she put her hand gingerly across the scar on her stomach. He might not have made her a boy, but he had taken everything that had made her a girl. She could no longer bear children. Eleven years. Eleven years in that cell. Eleven years with only the company of a monster. Eleven years and she was still waiting to be free.

**X~X~X**

(2) October 4, 1957 was the day Sputnik 1 was launched into space by the Russians.

* * *

Isabel had come out of her bedroom and was sitting cross legged in a chair as Feli and Lovino made dinner. It was entertaining to watch them. They were everywhere, flying around the room like two acrobats. They bumped into each other, spilled things, and dropped ingredients. But it was all so familiar and a little heartwarming.

"Bella~" Feliciano called to her, "Where does Tonio keep the olive oil?"

"In the cabinet, Idiota." Lovi gestured, "Over there."

"Ahh… Si." He pulled out a small bottle, "Grazie, Fratello."

"Prego(3)." Lovino said, trying to focus on chopping the onions without tearing up.

Isabel sighed, wondering how they could act like this, before closing her eyes.

"Bella…?" She opened them again to see Feli looking at her, concern written all over his face, "Have you heard from Big Brother Tonio?"

She shook her head, "No. But he's fine. I told you, he'll come back to us as soon as he can."

Feli bit his lip, looking back at his twin, "Lovi was going to break up with him tonight.. Do you think that's why he's never coming back?"

Isabel sighed, rubbing the bruise on her forehead, "I already said, Feli. He's coming back. And…" She looked over at Lovino whose face was streaked with tears from the onion, "That's probably for the best. They don't belong together."

Feliciano's eyes widened, "Fratello! You're crying!" He rushed over to him and hugged him tightly as Lovi tried to push him off.

"What?! No! It's the stupid onion! Get off me!"

Feli snuggled up closer, "Don't cry, Fratello… There's nothing to be done. He's gone… It'll be alright."

Isabel rolled her eyes. Her headache was coming back now.

**X~X~X**

(3) You're welcome (Italian)

* * *

"Tell me more."

Sophie glanced to her right, "Was?"

Antonio's knuckles were white on the wheel as he swerved in and out of traffic like a mad man. "Tell me more about Roderiech's nightmares."

She bit her lip, looking away, "I told you everything. He.. He fears drowning."

"That's not it!" He hit the horn, holding it until the cars cleared a way for him, "That can't be it! Why would… he ever think that?"

Sophie sighed, "You asked that already."

"Well, I want an answer!" He glared over at her with a hostile look that he reserved for those who'd hurt his loved ones.

"I don't know! He's Roderiech! He… He fears things we that we dare not think about."

Antonio swallowed, making an effort to focus on driving but that was gone as soon as he opened his mouth again. "He fears drowning. He fears that I won't be able to save him." He took a deep breath, "He fears that I will die trying."

**X~X~X**

Her scars kept growing in number. One every year. She was up to fifty seven. If she was taken in 1946 then… Maria closed her eyes and put her hands behind her head, lying back on her same cot in the same dank cell and trying to do the calculations in her head. 2003. That couldn't be right.

She opened her tired red eyes. 2003. It was the next millennium. She'd missed it. Maria took a deep breath, trying to relax again. Footsteps echoed through the underground cell. Her head moved the smallest bit, but she didn't turn to look.

"Maria?"

Maria's whole body stiffened and she sat up— spinning around to see a person she hadn't seen in 57 years. "Natalya?!"

The Belarusian nodded, her eyes widening as she looked at her. "D-Da.."

Maria jumped up, a grin spreading across her face, "Natalya!" She moved to the cell bars, "Where have you been? It's been so long…"

"You.." Natalya's face was horrified, "You're supposed to be dead."

The albino frowned, "What? Nyet. I'm alive."

Natalya shook her head, eyes filling with tears. "Nyet… Maria, I was _at_ your funeral. Gilbert was crying. They all think you're dead. I'm only here because Ivan told me to come down here. He said he had a surprise for me."

"Dead..?" Maria's voice was barely a whisper.

"Da. Ivan's been trying to get under my skin ever since I got married." Natalya spoke quietly, "And now that he's learned that I'm pregnant.."

"Pregnant?"

"Da." Natalya rubbed her stomach, "It's my husband's. Alfred."

"America… Pregnant." Maria's hand glided over the old scar over her when her womb had been, "That's... wonderful."

Natalya nodded carefully, before glancing behind her, "Come on. Ivan's gone. He must have known this would happen."

Maria frowned, still trying to figure out if this was real or if she was dreaming again. "Come on..?"

"I'm getting you out of here."

Her frowned deepened, "Nyet.. What? No! Gilbert!" Maria was finally starting to understand, "Gilbert is supposed to save me! I'm supposed to go back to him.. with Daniel."

The woman shook her head, "You can't. Daniel is gone and Gilbert thinks you're dead. You have to come with me."

"Nyet!" Maria cried, looking away, "You're lying! He can't think I'm dead! I can't leave! You're just a dream!"

But she wasn't dreaming. That was the day Maria was finally set free. That was the day she returned home. It was the day she saw her bother again. Peering in through a window, she saw him laughing with Roderiech while Eliza was telling some sort of story.

Her face fell and she backed away. That was the day that she'd retreated back to the shadows, dead to them. She was a ghost now. A ghost of the past.

* * *

**(A/N): Thank you guys so much! Have a happy Halloween~ I will be dressed as Punk!Hungary in the costume I made this year. :3**


	10. Chapter 10

**(A/N): Okay... Last Chapter. Final showdown.** **Only the Epilogue left after this.**

**[WARNING] Language and character death. Like I said.. Not exactly a happy ending.**

* * *

Maria smiled as she carried the silent Austrian in her arms easily. Cradling him in her scarred arms, she peered into his face as mother would with her child. Her weary red eyes watched his motionless face and his chest rising and falling at a much slower pace than when he was truly alive.

A grey hue hung upon him, clinging to his pale cheeks and cracked lips. He was so close to death, it seemed to be just waiting for her to deliver the finally blow. And she would. Because people that hurt her and her family deserved to be punished. Maria looked up, away from Roderiech, and walked forward toward the dock. Not everyone could be punished, but this man could and would be.

Lying him down on the wet wood, Maria hoisted the large anchor that kept the ship in place. Her eyes flitted back to him. What if…? Every execution had an audience. She'd invited the whole theater to come watch her masterpiece. And ever masterpiece was a little spontaneous.

A different kind of smile pulled at her white lips. Change. She could change.

**X~X~X**

They were only a few minutes away. Antonio was holding his breath, he needed to be there. Now. His green gaze moved to Sophie once more and he saw that she was quiet as well, her face pale.

"Sophia, listen to me." His voice was strong but with a little echo in it that he'd never heard before, "When we get there…" Antonio swallowed. He had no idea what kind of hell Maria had planned, but he did know one thing.

"No matter what happens, I need you to stay strong." He met her eyes for just a moment, "Your brother has to live." He took a deep breath, "Whatever happens, make sure your brother gets out alive. Make sure Roderiech lives."

A sharp breath came from his right but he didn't look over at her. He didn't need to see or hear her objections right now. He needed to be with Roderiech.

"_Sophia_, promise me."

"Ja.." She nodded, looking straight ahead of her out of the dashboard, not really seeing the road as her face grew paler. "Ja, I promise."

Antonio screeched to a halt, unbuckling quickly and opening the door, "We're here. Come on."

"Where?!" Sophie shouted, fumbling with the buckle as she looked around. It was a dock of some sort, but much larger. A marina.

"This is where my ships were," he spoke, his eyes darting back and forth along the waterfront. "They're all gone now. Expect one." His gaze lit on the large ship and he broke out into a sprint, "The one Bello was on when he fell."

Rounding a corner, Antonio's mind with filled with horrifying images. Roderiech bound and gagged. Roderiech's eyes pleading with him. Roderiech's blood smeared all along the wood. Ice water filled his veins. Roderiech's body, limp and lifeless with dull eyes staring back at him. Nothing he could do. He was too late.

"Ahhh…" An amused female voice caught his attention.

His head whipped around. There she was, lounging against the mast on his ship. Maria looked up, grinning at him with a wicked look in those fiery red jewels. Her white skin shone in the moonlight—the scars standing out in the dark.

"Maria!" His voice rang through the shipyard, allowing Sophie to find him. The footsteps echoed behind him and he heard her squeak of confusion and fear.

He took a deep breath, his eyes fixed on the albino and his voice grew low, "Remember. Your brother lives."

Sophie nodded, balling up her fists in fury. "You. Maria. You're… You're supposed to be dead."

"So they keep telling me!" Maria chuckled, a hollow sound that filled the air with depression, "But.. Here I am." She pushed away from mast, half smiling as she pushed something dark and obscured off the side of the ship. It was an anchor. The bone chilling black water splashed up the wood. "And someone else is here to die in my place."

Antonio face went pale. Tied to the anchor was his love, neck deep in the frigid water with dried blood caked on his temple. His bright violet eyes were closed, his dark lashes lying on white, almost blue skin. Duct tape was stuck across his full lips and his hair was matted to his forehead with an upsetting mixture of water and blood.

"What have you done to him..?" His voice was barely a whisper, but it carried all the way to the crazed woman dangling his soul mate into death.

Her crimson eyes narrowed, "Not as much as I will."

**X~X~X**

They had to be here. Somewhere. Gilbert's frantic eyes searched his surroundings.

"Gil.. Please. They're not here." Eliza swallowed, trying to reason with him, "Bitte, can we go?"

"Nein!" He whipped around to look at her, not seeing through the tears in his eyes. "Maria is here. I know it."

Her heart broke, over and over again every time she saw him like this. It cut her deep inside. "Liebe…" Her fingers brushed against his face lightly, wiping away the tears. "She's not."

His head fell forward on her shoulder, "She is! I can feel her! And she's.." Gilbert pulled her close, holding her tightly, "She's not well. She's sick. Sicker than me."

Eliza nodded, kissing his white hair. "J-Ja.. Ja. Do you want to look some more..?"

"Ja." His shoulders shook. He could feel her. Maria was so close. Something flashed in his mind's eye and Gilbert's head snapped up. He saw a face, Antonio, and smelt salt.

He pushed Eliza off harder than he meant to, "I know! I know where she is!"

**X~X~X**

"He needs to…" Maria spoke, watching Antonio carefully as her fingers caressed the crank that would lower the anchor even more. "He needs to die."

"Why?!"

She could hear the desperation in the Spaniard's voice. "I-I.." Why? Why was she doing this? "Because of.. of.. you!" An accusing finger pointed at him as her grip tightened on the lever. She needed this to be about Antonio. "Because of you two! You hurt my brother! He loves.." Maria looked down at Roderiech with disgust, kicking his face with her boot, "this piece of filth. He loves and trusts too easily. Like I used to." Her red eyes shot up to Antonio.

Maria needed this to be about Roderiech and Antonio. It needed to be about them and their betrayal. But it wasn't.

"I used to trust too. But.." Maria's face grew even whiter and her eyes got distant, "But I don't anymore. Fifty seven years can do that to a person. But not once.." She zeroed in on Antonio she lowered Roderiech but an inch, his chin almost touching the water. "Not once did I lose hope. Fifty seven years thinking that someone was trying! Trying to help me! But no.." In her other hand she picked up a large pipe that she'd found on the ship and pointed it at the man. "Nein! People think I'm _dead_! Well, I'm alive as fuck now!" She lowered Roderiech another inch.

"Stop!" Antonio cried, tensed to run and stop her himself, "Please! He's… You'll kill him!"

"Kill him?!" Maria shouted, a sneer on her scarred face, "Like he tried to kill me?! Every day for fifty seven years!" No. This was never about Roderiech, no matter how much she wanted it to be. It had always been about Ivan.

Antonio shook his head, "Maria.. Please." He was begging her, "Please listen. Ivan can't hurt you anymore. You don't need to do this. Bel—Roderiech would just want to help you. He's the most kind, compassionate person I know. He would just want to help…"

She stiffened when he said his name. Ivan. "Shut up!" She screamed, her learned Russian accent growing thicker, "You don't know what you're talking about! He dies! He has to die! It's the only way I'll ever be free! Everyone must die!"

Her glowing red eyes danced in the dark, fiery embers of an insane, broken woman. The anchor lowered another inch.

"MARIA!"

Maria's head jerked up from her concentrated staring contest with Antonio and was met by the one face that she'd wanted to see all these years. Years spent just hoping, waiting, wishing, wanting for him to help her.

"Gilbert.." Her voice was weak and shocked. Gilbert's face lit up, tears forming in his eyes. A grin broke out over his face and he ran to her, leaving the Hungarian behind him.

Maria's breath picked up. Gilbert. Her brother. She couldn't believe it. She was finally home again, back with her twin. Her other half. Her grip loosened on the crank the held Roderiech up as she moved toward him, pipe still in hand. "It's you…"

Then everything changed in a single second.

**X~X~X**

There was one moment. One moment when Eliza saw her and knew that Gilbert had been right all along. Maria was alive. She was alive and thriving.

Elizabeta didn't see the scars or the pain. She didn't notice the sick, twisted, desperate look in the girl's red eyes. All she saw was her. Alive. Breathing. Still alive.

"D-Daniel.." The name fell from her lips before she could stop it, broken. Her emerald, doe eyes widened as she stared at Maria. "Tell me... Where is Daniel..?"

That's when all hell broke loose.

**X~X~X**

Antonio had heard Gilbert arrive. He had heard the Prussian's frantic voice. He had seen the look of panic and relief on Maria's face. Any other day he would have been touched by the reunion. But now all he could think of was his love's body being lowered slowly into the ocean.

His keen eyes watched Maria carefully. Her hand moved from the crank that controlled the anchor and Antonio saw his chance. Slowly, he crept toward her, eyes fixed on her still figure.

"It's you.." She whispered, lips turning up in a small smile as she stared at her twin.

He crept forward, uneasy. She was dangerously unstable and upset, but even the threat of Maria was nothing compared to the sick feeling it gave him to see Roderiech in the water. Antonio inched toward her. He watched her hands, one barely on the crank and one still clutching the pipe tightly, and leaned in toward the Austrian he loved so dearly.

"Bello.." He whispered, kneeling in front of him. Antonio wiped Roderiech's face, his heart breaking at the sight of him. Tears sprung to his eyes, "Oh Dios... Please. Please just live."

"D-Daniel.." It was Eliza's voice. "Tell me... Where is Daniel..?"

Then everything went black. The very last image burned into his eyes was his love. The very last thought in his mind was to save him. But he never got to. It was too late.

Dark, cold, unforgiving darkness. Then light.

**X~X~X**

Maria smiled. Her brother. She felt a relieved sob gathering in her chest as she looked into the identical expression of her twin.

"D-Daniel..."

Her red gaze shot up to the woman she hadn't noticed, being so focused on the other half of Prussia. Eliza. Hungary. The other half of that little boy she'd watched die. Daniel's older sister, the person she'd promised that she'd keep him safe. She'd given her word.

Maria stared at her, wide eyed. It was unreal, seeing the woman again. Like there was a fog in her mind, a haze preventing clear thought. Her blood red eyes met the crystal clear emerald ones. The albino could almost hear the little boy's voice, almost see his hopeful face.

"_Sing to me..?"_

"Tell me..." Eliza's voice broke yet again, "Where is Daniel..?"

And then the fog lifted. Maria was able to see and react to things in miniscule amounts of time, but she wasn't able to process them. A whisper caught her attention, distracting her from Eliza momentarily. Her sharp eyes glanced down. Antonio was kneeling in front of the Austrian, begging him and cupping his face gently.

Maria swung to pipe with one swift movement. A sickening crack split the air as it connected with Antonio's skull, sending him spinning into unconsciousness and the water. The skilled swimmer couldn't do a thing. He sunk like a stone into the deep black abyss. But Maria didn't even watch him long enough to see him disappear. All she did was release the crank and send Roderiech into the water after his lover.

They had to die. Everyone did. First Antonio. Then Roderiech. Then Eliza. Then Gilbert. Then Sophie. Then Daniel. She barely faltered at the thought, her body tensing to attack. Daniel was already dead, he couldn't die twice. She had Eliza pinned to the ground as her brother pulled at her desperately, trying to pry her off. He wasn't who needed to die. It was the man she'd run away from. The man she was too weak to face. He needed to die. He was responsible.

"Ivan." She said through her concentrated anger, her hands around Eliza's neck. The woman was clawing at her arms, trying to breathe. Her eyes were wide with fear, pleading with Maria. Those green, pure, innocent eyes. The words echoed in her head.

"_Sing to me, Maria..?"_

"_Schlaf, Kindlein, schlaf…"_

**X~X~X**

A scream escaped her throat as Sophie saw the two topple into the ocean together. The bubbles rose to the top, disturbing the surface ripples from the splashes they'd made. Her body folded in on itself. Both of them. She cried out for help again, but it fell on deaf ears. Eliza was struggling on the ground, her life being smothered slowly, and Gilbert was doing everything he could to save her.

And Sophie was just standing there. Paralyzed with fear. Nothing but cold numbness filled her body. How could she do this? Save them. Her eyes shut tight with fear, blocking out everything.

"_No matter what happens, I need you to stay strong." _

Her eyes flew open. "S-Strong.." Sophie straightened out, "I have to b-be strong." Her eyes went down to Antonio. He'd been thrown into the water, but he wasn't swimming out. He was perhaps the best swimmer she'd ever met; there was no way he would stay under this long unless… The black fear crept into her veins once more. Roderiech was attached to an anchor, but Antonio was lost under the water.

"_Your brother has to live."_

Sophie stood her head, crying out again, "Gilbert! Eliza! Help!" But it was no use. It was only her. She was only one person. She could only save one.

"_Whatever happens, make sure your brother gets out alive. Make sure Roderiech lives."_

Of course. Tears stung her eyes as she ran to the ship, turning her back on Antonio. Of course it had to be her brother. Jumping onto the deck, Sophia heaved the crank, but it was stuck.

"_Sophia, promise me."_

Her stomach churned as she pushed harder. "I promise.. I promise." The crank finally started to move and with all her strength, she lifted the anchor from the water. As soon as Roderiech's upper body was exposed, Sophie leapt off the ship and down to her brother.

"Breathe!" She pleaded, shaking him. Grimacing as she put her lips to his, Sophie pushed air into his lungs. It only took moments, but it felt like years as she praying to anything that he would breathe. Just breathe.

Roderiech coughed up water before taking a shaky breath, his head lulling to the side. A strangled, joyful sob escaped her lips.

"You're going to be fine…" Her small hands lifted his face to look at him. He was pale, closer to death than she'd ever seen. But he was Nation. They were hard to kill like this. They couldn't die unless there was absolutely no way to survive. He would live.

Quickly she began to untie him, making surprisingly quick work of the rope and tape. As she lay him down on the dock, the color began to return to his cheeks. Behind her, Sophie heard Maria sobbing.

"I'm s-sorry! I'm so, so, so sorry..!"

Her broken words wouldn't right the wrongs she'd done or bring back the life ended. Sophie felt sick as she thought about the body in the water. The sunken Spaniard.

"Nngghh.."

Sophie's violet eyes widened as Roderiech stirred. "Roderiech.. Shhh.. You need your rest."

The man, as stubborn as his sister, shook his head. "Nein… I-I.." He opened his eyes, but didn't see much, only fuzzy shapes. "An-Anton..?"

She bit her lip, swallowing. "Ja.. Ja. He saved you. Antonio saved you."

"Gut.." Roderiech smiled, "He'll always save me.."

Sophie nodded, "J-Ja… Always."

He sighed, his breath ragged. "Tell him that.. He's in my thoughts. My dreams.." Roderiech drifted off into a natural sleep, mumbling, "Tell him.. I'm thinking of him."

* * *

**(A/N): I hope you guys aren't too disappointed with how it turned out.. I'll try to finish the Epilogue soon.**


	11. Chapter 11

**(A/N): Y'know.. I spent a lot of time looking at this story and _truly_ trying to end it differently. I swear to God I wrote like 5 different versions of this epilogue. But in the end, this is really how I always wanted to end this. Not with some magical return of the dead. Not with some final show down between Roderiech and Lovino or Roderiech and Maria. I like this.**

**And you guys are already HATE me so. I've nothing to lose.**

**(UPDATE)**

**_ALSO!_** Not many of you know this, but this FanFiction was actually inspired by a YouTube video by 'ObliviousCarrot'.

And if you search: APH Thinking of You- Roderich & Antonio

You should get it.

* * *

His fingers slide over the keys. The notes he played were no different. The music had not changed. The way his hands moved over the ivory was the same. It was the way he heard it. Music swelled and filled the room, falling onto his deaf ears. Music brought him no joy. No comfort. He simply needed it.

Roderiech played all day and into the night, never resting. When he finally rose from the piano bench and retired to his room, he slept for days. Nightmares came and went but it made no difference now. They had all come true, so what was there left to fear?

Occasionally Eliza would visit him, hovering over him as a nurse would, speaking to him in soft kind words that everyone showed him. Chattering away, she felt his piano was not adequate needed to fill the silence with meaningless words. She would remind him of the date, telling him that it was his birthday, or Christmas, or something equally irrelevant. Then, once a year, she would speak the same three words.

"It's the anniversary."

His fingers would never stop, pressing on the keys in a smooth rhythm. He nodded at her. She reminded him as if he didn't know. As if he didn't count the years. The months. The weeks. The days… And yet she felt it necessary to enlighten him of the passage of this time.

When Gilbert came to see him, it was much different. The Prussian would sit calmly, quiet and pensive as he had never been before. He would not speak much, but on the rare occasion he did, Roderiech could hear barely controlled tears behind his words. He did not come to visit very often anymore.

Taking a deep breath, Roderiech's fingers trilled on the keys and his eyes slid shut. Footsteps came from behind him but he did not open his eyes to see who it might be. They were too light to be Gilbert, but Eliza had just come last week… Or was it last month? But it didn't matter. He heard the person approach and his mind drifted away. This person couldn't sneak up on him when he was playing, nor could anyone else. The one person that could surprise him was gone like this was gone; Roderiech would never be surprised again. Or so he thought.

"Roderiech…"

His eyes flew open and his fingers faltered on the keys, striking a sour note. He winced but never stopped playing.

Maria drew closer, gnawing on her bottom lip, "Roderiech… Listen to me.. P-Please."

He did not look up.

"I-I…" She swallowed, "I'm sorry.."

The happy music continued, bringing him as much joy as hearing her speak did.

Her face was torn, but she'd decided to come there. "I'm _sorry_. I know nothing I can ever say to you will make it up… Or to Isabelle. Or Feliciano. Or Lovino.. B-But.."

"This was his favorite." His voice was weak from disuse, but still understandable.

Maria's eyes filled with tears. "It-It was?"

"Ja… He loved this song." Roderiech's fingers danced around, forming the melody his love had adored, "He would beg me to play it. Over and over again. Even after I was sick of it.. One song, can you imagine? Even after I was sick of it, he would beg. And I would oblige."

"R-Roderiech…" Her voice broke, holding back tears. Just the same as her brother. "I'm s-sorry.. So sorry! P-Please!"

He did not speak again. He listened with disinterest to the woman's pleas and sobs. The last note of his Liebe's song rang out as he held down the keys.

"_Por favor, again?"_

"_Of course, Anton."_

The song started up again. Over and over. Until he was sick of it. And then again.


End file.
